3 Tips to Avoiding Monstrous First Date Fail
Too often singles of all ages haven’t been out on a date for awhile, so their dating skills can be a bit spooky. Are your First Dates Spooktacular or Spectacular? Read on to learn 3 ways you can date better and avoid acting ghoulish instead of glorious or at least just good on a first date.
Don’t Let Your First Date Become the Monster Mash
With Halloween just around the corner, it’s a fun thing to play with the themes of the holiday. Whether you’re at risk of showing up as a witch or a warlock, here are 3 dating tips to unveil the mystery behind avoiding #FirstDateFail, certainly making it a better date, and massively increasing your likelihood to segue to an intriguing second date. Read on to remove the mystery and have a little fun learning about how to do first dates better.
Tip 1: Don’t Dress Like a Ghoul
If you’ve become a fashionista victim, you might have purchased either a painfully colored outfit displaying excessive amounts of chartreuse or puce. The spiked bad ass metal studded platforms which have been popular turn men off. Sure, they’d be a perfect for your witch’s costume, but not a regular first date. They not feminine and alluring.
Date 4 and beyond is when the relationship gets real.
Alternatively, women have become enamored of the 4 inch heel shoes with 2-3 inch platforms, running the risk of spraining their ankles at every turn. The men who are looking for a mate who keeps as fit as they do and could share their love of getting out of town into the great outdoors on the weekend won’t find these women attractive. Beautiful, yes, which means there might be a second and third date. However, you won’t find him looking to share his life after the third date. Date 4 and beyond is when the relationship gets real.
Guys, it’s fine to dress a bit casually. However, let’s aim for more than a t-shirt of shlumpy shirt, ok? If you’re regular look is goth alternative, then go with that. She knows that that’s who you are an how you dress. Other than that, guys, don a blazer or sports jacket of some kind. Or maybe a very spiffy shirt starched into an inch of it’s life. Gents, it’s time to spiff up a bit to make a great first impression.
Tip 2: Don’t Behave Like a Zombie
Your date wants to interact with you. If you’re a double extrovert like I am, you run the risk of running off too much at the mouth. Remember to make conversation. Conversation is a two way street. It is like a gentle tennis volleying of softly hitting the ball back and forth across the net. Your first date should neither become a soliloquy about how dreadful your boss is nor what a shrew or jerk you ex was. The topics for a first date should be light small talk items. You can start with “How was your drive here?” and “How was your day at work?” and then move on to topics covering travel adventures you’ve enjoyed. Share about your hobbies and inquire unto theirs.
Tip 3: Don’t Leave It All to Magic
Even thought the Loving Spoonful told us, “It’s Magic,” dating includes an effort on both your parts. Many singles who have never yet been married think that “If it’s meant to be, it will just happen.” Well, I’m here to tell you, after having been completely in love with late husband unto the point where people described us as being “Made for Each Other,” we still had to work at it. While we were dating, we had to learn how to bridge our age difference, and our cultural differences. We bumped our heads against walls and wondered if we were right for each other and if we could really make it work.
Dating is a skill. Relating and building a relationship together take relationship skills. If you were raised in the Duggar family with 18 siblings, you might have learned and mastered great relationship skills in your family of origin. However, if you’re like most Americans, there were some family problems growing up and you need to relearn better skills now. Going out on dates is your lab time, like Language Lab back in your college years. So many singles think they are 100% ready to get married right now. All they need to do is meet “the right woman” or “the right guy.” Even if they met “the right person” they would still need to apply themselves, stretch their skills, and work things out. You can’t just wave a magic wand and have it all work out. There is endeavor to it.
Guess what? So are all relationships and marriage for life long love.
Do show up, remember to flirt, and have some fun while you’re all it. You do need to apply yourself, but some of the skills of dating include having fun and flirting, so emphasize those!
Until next time, post your questions in the COMMENTS section below and join my ezine newletter list.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Internet Dating and Relationship Expert
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences. Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?
Karen says
November 11, 2014 at 12:15 PMYeah, I like it better when a guy asks me about myself on the date not just all about him. Then I know he’s interested in getting to know me.