The Duggars Jill’s Engagement Ring Shopping Courtship Lessons
19Kids and Counting, Jill’s Proposal Episode
Engagement ring shopping: Derick Dillard brought his mom with him. Now, I am a huge fan of both of the Say Yes to the Dress shows as well as I Found the Gown. Quite often they emphasize the mother/daughter special time and bond on the day the bride goes to buy her wedding dress. Alternatively, some girls are more Daddy’s Girls and the special connection is between the bride and her father as she prepares to be given away.
However, in the bridal industry, not a lot is said about the groom and the women in his family. Often the groom takes a family adviser along with him to shop for, select, and purchase the engagement ring for his bride. It was very sweet that Derrick took along his mother.
As those of us who are diehard 19 Kids and Counting fans already know, Ms. Cathy later contracted cancer, became quite ill, and was even hospitalized in her battle with cancer. Additionally, Derick’s dad had already passed on. Taking his mother along with him gave them a special memory of a lifetime together in his courtship, engagement, and wedding to Jill.
My brother invited me along with him when he purchased the engagement ring to ask his bride, now mi cuñada, to marry him. Men often do well to take along a female family member, not only for the special memory making occasion, and yes, I felt such love for my brother to get to be part of their special love, I was thrilled.
The ladies in a man’s family can help him both to select something beautiful and romantic with an eye towards current bridal trends. The women in his family have likely already met his soon to be fiancée and can help him to select something in keeping with her taste and personal style. She’s going to be wearing that puppy for a lifetime, so choose discerningly.
Not only is their quality and carat to consider, but the cut is supremely important to her that it, the choice of metal, and the style are massive considerations. Ideally, he will have gently trotted the idea before his lady already a few times to glean her opinion, taste, and expectations before shelling out the bucks.
Diamond sales people aren’t dumb. Once you give them your price point, they will show you a few that meet that, and then 1 ring that is a bit more than that, not a thousand dollars more, but more. Guess which one you will eventually think looks the best? Yup, the one that costs more. The difference in quality and sparkle usually is noticeable even to the naked eye not using the loop. So, you end up paying more for the ring. Then there is an added surprise: the sales tax. It adds 7-9% more and you likely weren’t budgeting for that. Just be careful and push back where appropriate before you view the rings or the emotions will influence you more than you’d been planning.
When Jim and I were courting, he made is intentions known within a matter of weeks once we were dating. We’d been acquainted for some time and friends for months already, so it had some feet to it. However, that still meant we needed to date and court before we actually became engaged. Once he’d declared his intentions, he started to take me ring shopping. We educated ourselves. I had some preferences and let him a few directions he could go in which would please me, but I also gave him enough of a range that whatever his price point was, he could please me. I knew what I wanted – yellow gold and round cut, single stone or 3 stones together, no bagets –while leaving his masculinity intact. There had to be preferences and a range, not a demand list and price prerequisite. When his cancer came back, I turned to him and said, “I don’t want to go through another year of this not being your wife.” The marriage mattered to me more than the ring. Which is how it should be. I was prepared to marry him without it. He surprised me just before our little rush-job wedding with an engagement ring. I was not expecting it. It was very sweet. Naturally, my teary eyed answer was yes.
I hope yours will be, too.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences. Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?