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Relationship Rules: Establish Loving Intentions In Person

The Relationship Rules:  Establish Loving Intentions In Person

Relationship Success Advice with The Relationship Rules:  Establish Loving Intentions In Person with Your Mate


A coaching client recently asked me a relationship success question about how she and her boyfriend could communicate better.  What she asked about and my responses have prompted a whole new Relationship Success Advice and Tips series which I have named, The Relationship Rules.  Everything in life has rules.  So should your romantic relationship for it to flourish and support both of you.  Some couples receive some of this information during pastoral couples counseling when they get engaged and are preparing for their wedding.  Then again, not all married couples hear of all of these ideas in The Relationship Rules.  As a recognized Dating and Relationship expert, I plan to be thorough to support happy and fulfilling relationships, those leading to marriage and those for couples already married and wanting to sustain long-term love.

The Relationship Rules:  Problem #1 – Arguments

“April, my boyfriend and I live in the same city, however, we have super busy schedules right now which prevent us from being together in person as much as we want.  To sustain our relationship, we often use the internet and text messages to communicate in-between dates.  Our problem is we tend towards misunderstanding each other and getting into squabbles that way.  We don’t want to avoid that kind of contact.  Is there anything we can do? Help.”


As Body Language Expert Tonya Reiman I’m sure will address in her forthcoming book due out tomorrow, The Body Language of Dating, so much of a couple’s dating life is communicated with nonverbal body language signals.  One of the greatest communication challenges of the 21st century with the advent of texting throughout a romantic relationship is that all of the body language reading signal communication nuances are lost.  Couples texting only or emailing only lose out on what their body language communicates via their vocal tonality, pitch, and pace of speech.  Additionally, their body language signs of facial expression, posture, stance, and gesture are left out as well.

It is simply a matter of modern life now in the 21st century.  Many modern couples will at some point over the course of a relationship have terribly busy schedules that keep them apart at times.  With that situation as part of contemporary modern life, contemporary couples will naturally look to use communication media to accommodate their busy lives using text and email.


The Relationship Rules:  Communication Dilemma Delivery

Establish loving intention in person.  Once the two of you are a couple and you have each felt mutual love and expressly specifically articulated it with saying, “I love you,” and that wasn’t just 5 minutes ago for the first time.  Once that state of love is felt and mutually expressed to where you each are secure in your love for each other, then set a clear understanding and intention of that mutual love for your communication with each other

First, during one of the times when the two of you are together in person so you receive all the body language communication benefits fully, set an agreement that you two love each other and that what you want is to express loving communication together.  Therefore, you know that there can be misunderstandings via email and text.  However, you both intend to remember when those occur that you each love each other.  Establish an agreed upon intention to think the best and clear the air and fine tune any understandings only in person.

You want that when they two of you establish this intention that you can touch each other so you communicate and feel the love you two share.  Do hold hands, sit next to each other so you can look each other in the eye.  Discuss the dilemma that you’ve had and now really set an intention together.  Establish an agreement together to look for the best possible meaning when the two of you are texting in between your dates.


Establishing a loving intention and looking for the best possible meaning is imperative for long lasting love for all relationships.  Even if you’re not conflicted with busy schedules keeping you apart, having this discussion, creating that intention, and establishing the agreement to do this in your relationship is important for all loving couples to do.


Set a date today to do this with your mate as soon as you can.  This just could be a turning point in your love relationship together.

Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

April Braswell speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Recovery Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences.  Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?

{ 10 comments… add one }
  • Dennis Perry January 2, 2012, 7:34 PM


    This is great advice for the rapidly changing world of romance in the digital age.

    As if love didn’t present enough of its own challenges, we now add the potential misunderstanding of digital communication to the mix.

    It is good that the dating world has an expert of your caliber to help guide them through this maze.


  • Tim Van Milligan January 3, 2012, 6:35 AM

    You’re right April, and you offered your client excellent advice. If you’re not meeting face-to-face, it is hard to establish a relationship.

    Tim Van Milligan

  • Stephanie January 3, 2012, 8:04 AM

    Establishing loving intention in person is the ‘cement’ that bonds the relationship together. I find your Relationship Rules’ a very good idea April.

  • Peggy Larson January 3, 2012, 11:39 AM

    Communication is so very important it’s hard to emphasize the point enough. Your rule will really help couples in thsi area.


  • Clare Delaney January 3, 2012, 7:04 PM

    Great advice April and I look forward to reading more about the ‘Relationship Rules”

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  • Sonya Lenzo January 4, 2012, 6:19 AM

    The concept of clearing the air in person is a sound one. Way too many misconceptions can occur in text and online!
    Sonya Lenzo

  • Persuasion explained January 8, 2012, 10:10 PM

    April, these are fantstic points when it comes to communicating in dating.
    Scott Sylvan Bell

    Now go implement!

  • Sterling Smith January 11, 2012, 11:32 PM

    Great point, April, about how a communication mismatch is the biggest problem faced by many people around the world which tend to hamper the lives of both persons. It should be dealt with both people support and care.

  • Bryan January 12, 2012, 7:02 PM


    You are right on the money as usual. Communication, or lack there of causes many problems in relationships.

  • Shane Aric May 2, 2012, 10:56 AM

    Always great tips here on how to connect deeply with one another… without glossing over the “obvious” things most people forget to do… or simply don’t do.

    sometimes it is the little things. And sometimes we make the little things into BIG things. Message to self: “Don’t do that!”


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