≡ Menu

Dating Coach Women After 40 | Courtship and Relationship Advice

Alaskan Women Looking for Love, Happy Birthday Haley!

Having landed in Miami, it’s now a few days into their beach love seeking adventure still in the second episode of the TLC fun TV show, “Alaskan Women Looking for Love.”

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!

It’s Haley’s birthday.  (22 years old today, a Teacher.)The girls make sure to get 22 hot guys poolside for celebrating her birthday.  They start out walking in their neighborhood and find that there’s a beautiful park right nearby. “It’s a sausage fest. It’s a hot sausagefest!”  It’s rugby! Miami Rugby football club.  Yes, the captain’s name is “HeMan.”  He’s kindov a nice guy.  They invite the team of rugby playing hot men to come to their pool party that night. “They were rolling their Rs. Can you imagine what they will do with those tongues.”

Sitting lounging around poolside soaking up the afternoon sun, Heather, Haley, and Sabina kibbitz together.  “You know, it’s weird here.  Because I see the guys and I’m like, I don’t know how old any of them are. In Alaska, I see a guy, and I know exactly how old he is.”

Sabina, 27 year old waitress “Or his whole face is a beard and you can’t tell how old he is.  He’s like, ‘I’m actually 22 years old.’ And you’re like, ‘What?'”

Heather, 29 years old waitress, “I’m digging the whole, like, clean shaven, beautiful eyebrows….”

Bzzz,  Bzzzz. “And that is a phone call,” says Sabrina, putting her wine goblet of OJ down as she looks at her cell phone.

And yes, the only man she’s given her phone number to is Henry. Yup, that’s him. He’s very forward and assertive directly asking her out on a date.  Heather, “He sounds like he’s really selling himself.”

Tina, our 32 year old welder, “I promised Haley 22 guys.  1 for each year.” And they are waiting and waiting for the guys they invited to show up playing ping pong balls into their cups of beer.  Just as they start to kvetch at each other, in walks… “Is that He-Man?” Yes it is!  He brings Rugby club t-shirts with him and the gaggle of guys.  They bring with them a whole keg of beer.  The birthday party has started! Many of them are European and give her a birthday kiss.

And then Lacy, 22 year old Assistant Manager at Kodiak Paradise Lounge, meets a guy, Adrian, who likes that she has done arm wrestling as well as her looking feminine.  They definitely click, and go off to a table by themselves to have a conversation. While they definitely have chemistry, you can see they want to and can converse together, which makes their little sparks sizzle with more substance than some.

The next day, Sabrina starts to get ready for her date with Henry.  She is the first to go out on a date amongst them. Even though they went shopping at Alvins Island the first day, they don’t really seem to have anything nice to wear for a First Date.

He takes her to a Cuban food restaurant.  “You’re going to leave Miami speaking Spanish.”

Turns out Henry is a full-time firefighter and only does the water taxi hustling on the side.

Their First Date has giggles, flirts, sizzles and sparks.

The rest of them head out to Blue Martini.  Conversation actually is possible here and they run into Caleb, one of the Rugby players from the team who came to Haley’s birthday party. Tina does well with a super tall handsome man named Jordan comes up and talks to them at the bar.  He arms are even on either side of their chairs, his body language focused on them when another woman comes up all smiles, and starts putting her hand on his arm and shoulder, turning him towards her and interrupting them.  “Girls don’t do that to other girls in Alaska.”  Girl Code differences between Miami and Alaska have started.

By the close of the episode, these Alaskan Women have devised their own rating scale for describing guys from Humpeys to Halibut, and King Salmon to White King Salmon for the total package dreamy man. What will they catch in their Miami fishing expedition?


Alaskan Women Looking for Love Land in Miami

Alaskan Women Looking for Love Land in Miami

In the second episode of TLC‘s “Alaskan Women Looking for Love,” the girls are ready to leave Alaska for a month and seek sun, adventure, and, hopefully, love in sun-drenched, body revealing Miami.  They board a small aircraft all clad in their multi-winter layers of clothes to keep warm, from parkas to ugly ski caps, sweaters, scarves and gloves, complete with foot protection gear, fishing boots.

Henry is hot n hunky and approaches their group literally as they are in full Alaskan parkas wrangling their luggage as they attempt to hail a mini-van sized yellow taxicab car.  His proposal is to get them to instead use Captain Joe’s Water Taxi (Rentals, Tours & Charters).  His guarantee is 100%.  “Any of you doesn’t like it, you don’t have to pay a penny.” They start to peel off their layers of winter wear clothes to get ready to ride on the water and sip champagne.


beach woman, woman soaking up the sun

Soaking Up the Sun

“The air is completely different here.  You don’t smell flowers in Kodiak.  You smell fish.”


Once they get to their resort rental house, Henry apologizes for the rough delivery of them because their house has no dock.  “Ladies, I apologize.  But there is no dock.” They will need to really lift themselves UP to get through the back gate unto the water sans boat dock.

The girls are beyond delighted to discover the massive backyard outdoor seating area full a huge pool and tiki hut. “A pool and a tiki hut, it’s like a dream.”

As Sabrina gets off of the water taxi, the last to disembark, and Henry stops here to ask her out on a date to show her the town.  Before she even sets foot on the backyard, she’s giving out her phone number to go on dates.


The house: “Inside our house is completely different than the houses in Alaska.  I was extremely happy to see no animal heads bolted to the wall.”

Jenny, 34 years old, and the oldest of the group with a former new evangelical conservative Christian marriage behind her, is ready to make the shift to beach style living.  “The house we’re staying in is like amazing. It’s totally Miami. And we’ve got to get our Miami style going on so we can fit in a little bit.”

The girls are used to fishing and hunting activities, and their casual wear reflects that.  With bulky fishing boots to protect their feet in olive drab and over sized Henley shirts for warmth over their jeans, their clothes do not reflect the body hugging fashion style of Miami, not even the Senior Citizen style of the Golden Girls.  They are going to both to go shopping and get some hair and makeup makeover help before they will shine Miami style.

They realize this and start shopping to get something to wear at the beach.  They start at Alvin’s Island.  “That’s a lot of Neon.”  “It’s like a highlighter exploded in the store.”  “There’s no color in Alaska.  It’s all black.  It’s supposed to be slimming.”

The clothes: “It’s a lot less fabric than we’re used to.” The bathing suits and shorts are super short. They buy big t-shirst that have bodies in bikinis on them to wear with their jeans to do some beach recon.  They want to see what the others are wearing at the beach and are agog even at the bodies of the guys being revealed.  The mean have low hung bathing shorts on massively revealing their pecs and toned and cut abs.

It’s the middle of the afternoon and they’re ready to go have a few drinks.  But the dance club bar is closed.  “In Alaska, if you have money, the bars will always be there and the bartenders will always take your money,” informs Heather. “I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Miami scene, but you probably won’t get in wearing what you’re wearing. ”

They finally stand in line outside of a hot club in their rolled up jeans and sneakers, and after letting in all the well clad and fashionably shod girls, they do get inside.  They get a table with a fun party reception and have to purchase a bottle of alcohol.  They have fun.  At the end of the evening, their wake up call is when they get the bill:  $500.  At least they got some numbers.


Celebrate Boxing Day with a Dance

Boxing Day has non-definitive European Origins.  Falling on the day after Christmas, it was the day to give gifts of goods and money to the servants and trades people in service to you and your family.

During the time I lived in San Francisco and would religiously read the SF Chronicle/Examiner PINK section when everyone read hard copies of our Sunday periodicals, I remember reading something about how Boxing Day in modern Japan, if memory serves, had become something of an event for Spinsters. Yes, in some countries, if a young woman was not married off by the time she left her twenty-fifth year of life, she was negatively socially marked and branded as undesirable, a spinster.  Following the social conventions and traditions of Debutantes, aka Debs, young women and their families endeavored to introduce her to the higher echelons of society and get her married while her pulchritude was at its peak, her maidenhood still intact, and her fertility was prime.

Thank goodness, in 21st century world culture, we’ve had enough years and more than a few generations in place of women who have postponed marriage and childbearing until they have completed graduate studies and well-established a career.  So, single women of all ages now have quite a number of options.

Still, it is always a bit fun to take some older traditions which might be a bit out-dated and turn them on their heads, or even just twist and turn them sufficiently to give them a contemporary spin and modern edge to them.

Contra Dancers, from the California Dance Coop website.


So, if you’re single, why not head out and go to a Boxing Day Dance?  If you’re in a couple, that same dance might be a good social endeavor for the two of you as well. The holidays have so many food festivities, that it’s a yummy season.  However, we could all use a little more exercise with all of the extra holiday treats least we put on weight while celebrating the Thanksgiving Chanukah Christmas Kwanza holidays.  Burp! It really seems to start at Halloween these days, doesn’t it? Couples need to feed new people, some newness and variety to their coupledom lives least they succumb to complacence, boredom, and a rut.  When bored too often, that is when couples start to feel unhappy together.  Feed the thriving love nature.  Get out and dance. Burn a few calories, and learn some new steps while you’re at it!

YouTube Preview Image

In SoCal, there is a Contra Dance on Boxing Day at Citrus College in Glendora from 4PM-7PM.  Contra dance unlike many other styles of dance including Ballroom, Square Dancing, Tango, Swing, and Salsa, you can attend without already knowing the dance. Rank beginners welcome. DO show up by 30 minutes early before the dance because they will devote the first 20-30 minutes to demonstrating the basic contra steps to beginners.  Then during the dance before a Contra tip, they will demonstrate maybe 1 or 2 steps that will be included in that dance right then, so you follow the group, participate, and keep up.  If you didn’t come with a partner, don’t worry. Dancers in this dance culture endeavor to mix things up and change partners every Contra tip or so.

Sponsored by Citrus College Fine and Performing Arts and CDC: the California Dance Coop.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Internet Dating and Relationship Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences.  Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event, Women’s Group, or Business Group?