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Over 45 Dating for Boomer Dating, Dating Again… After Divorce, a Romantic Relationship Breakup, Changes in Life

One of the issues online dating coaching clients approach me with for when they want to work with me is they are often typically of single Boomers, that is single men and women over the age of 45 years old.

Often when they do so, it is after a major event has occurred in their lives.  They are single again after emerging from a divorce.  They are single again after the break up of a romantic relationship.  They are single now after a major change and upheaval in their lives like major weight loss (yeah!) or a move to another region than where they formerly had a social network already established.

They are looking to relaunch themselves.  And also they want some coaching in the steps to take.

The first step I recommend for them is to do the equivalent of get a facial and manicure pedicure for women.  Read and do the simple action steps in Moving On: Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life.  It’s like preparing the wall surface before you paint.  It’s like a marvelous microdermal abrasion preparation of your skin before applying make up.  Like you would wash your face and moisturize it first, not just slather on make-up on top of what you wore yesterday, right?

Sort of like with all the Coronas and Tequilla you drank yesterday you would drink more water TODAY to flush your system.

Singles who don’t do this sort of Grief Recovery work before they go into their next relationship and seeking to attract that then bring significant emotional baggage.  After any kind of a divorce, death of a spouse, end of a romantic relationship leaves us with mixed feelings and emotions.  However we felt “She done me wrong/ he done me wrong” is the baggage we bring in.  It’s not to argue about being wrong or right or what you learned from the relationship about yourself that you don’t want to do again.  It’s to complete the emotions and pains from the relationship, to reduce your baggage, so you can attract the kind of love relationship that fits YOU.

Divorce Support and Bereavement Counseling Outreach Workshop Henderson, NV, Nevada, Las Vegas

In the next few days, I’ll provide some more of the tools I give to single baby boomer dating clients after they have done their relationship prep work.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Dating Quick Start Expert, Relationship Success Coach

{ 28 comments… add one }
  • Duane Cunningham May 6, 2009, 10:44 PM

    Hi April,

    What superb advice! Its not a good thing to carry the past into the future much better to come to terms with and learn from the past so as not to make those same mistakes again

    Thanks for todays post!


  • jc mackenzie May 6, 2009, 11:12 PM

    Good advice, let the past rest, tomorrow is another day!


  • Philip Graves May 7, 2009, 2:15 AM

    Great advice – there come’s a time when you learn nothing new from looking backwards!

    Philip Graves
    author of “The Secret of Selling: How to Sell to Your Customer’s Unconscious Mind”

  • Rob Northrup May 7, 2009, 3:28 AM

    First you got to get down to bedrock, then you can build anew.
    Great stuff…
    Seize the Day,


  • Steve Chambers May 7, 2009, 3:59 AM

    You can’t move on until you let go of the past,

    Steve Chambers,

  • Bob Kaufer May 7, 2009, 4:03 AM

    Flushing the system from the old baggage is good advice.

    Bob Kaufer

  • Christian Haller May 7, 2009, 5:46 AM

    I recall some famous quote about repeating history. Always true in relationships – you may need to change to attract a different relationship into our lives.
    Christian Haller

  • John Ho May 7, 2009, 7:53 AM


    Leaving baggage behind to get ahead in life is indeed important.

    Same case with dating. You give great advice !

    John Ho

  • Yann Vernier May 7, 2009, 8:18 AM

    Great advice April. Until you’ve put the past behind, you can’t be open to all the good the future can bring you. I personally used the GirefRecovery process from the book to help me release old resentment a few years, and found it very valuable to move on – it isn’t only helpful to get past traumatic events but anything we’re holding onto.

  • JJ Jalopy May 7, 2009, 12:25 PM

    Hope you’re feeling good after all the parties yesterday. Water and tea. Water and tea.

    And some quality sofa time!

    Cool post. You have to break the old patterns. Out with the old – in with the new!

    JJ Jalopy.
    How to become a coach

  • Lisa McLellan May 7, 2009, 2:43 PM

    Perfect analogy – like preparing the wall before you paint. I never thought about this but it makes perfect sense, you need to start fresh!

    Lisa McLellan, Babysitting Services – Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs

  • Anthony Lemme May 7, 2009, 3:42 PM

    Live in the present and leave the past behind by processing and integrating your old emotional wounds. Some people wear their pasts like a scar and scare away the good ones and attract the wrong ones. I see it with some people I know who end up dating the same person in a different body. They have done the work on themselves and get the same or similar over and over.


  • Sonya Lenzo May 8, 2009, 6:08 AM

    April, I think of it as sort of “detox”. I was thinking today of writing a book called “Love and Carbs…….both make you sick if you have too much!”

  • Pat Becker May 8, 2009, 1:24 PM

    Reminds me of a couple of friends who have gone through divorces, gone on a dating spree and remarried again as fast as they could. Funny how the next spouse resembles the one they just left in so many ways. Recovery time is essential.


  • Darryl Pace May 8, 2009, 7:02 PM


    Great advice. Out with the old (relationship related baggage) and in with the new.

    Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace

  • mark mallen May 12, 2009, 10:41 AM

    April, There is no need to read a book after all the great advice you give. Mark

  • Chaila May 21, 2009, 7:42 AM

    Hi April, Thanks for sharing this informative post . i will visit this blog again

  • Chaila May 23, 2009, 8:56 AM

    Thanks for this informative post which is including good information and ideas for boomer dating

  • Vick September 14, 2009, 8:46 AM

    Great article. Too bad more people don’t read these kinds of things when they are in that situation. They hang on to baggage like they’ll die if they let it go. Nothing worse than hanging on to yesterday when you can’t change it any way.

    Vicki http://www.bridalthreadshq.com

  • April Braswell September 14, 2009, 8:56 AM

    Hi Vick,

    thanks for stopping by.

    Indeed, many people hear from their dear friend to “let go” and “move on” which are beautiful statements which mean, what? Or rather, “Great idea! HOW do I do that?” The Grief Recovery process is one that gives the structured system and strategy for HOW to do that.

    It’s an excellent book.

    Thank you for your thoughtful compliment.

    Happy Dating and Relationships,


  • Scott Paye September 17, 2009, 5:32 AM

    Great Stuff!
    Start Anew!


  • Greg September 17, 2009, 12:48 PM

    You provide a great service!

  • Sabrina Peterson April 2, 2010, 7:46 AM


    What a great analogy! So very true too.

    Fat Burning Home Workouts

  • Mike Norris April 6, 2010, 7:03 PM

    Letting go of the old baggage is a must . So many people struggle with this.


    SafetyIs Everyones Business

  • Dewayne Chriswell April 7, 2010, 6:23 AM

    Makes sense to me. Look forward to seeing what’s in the toolbox.

  • michael April 25, 2010, 9:13 AM


    I also think it’s important to get rid of that emotional baggage as well.

    I will be 40 next month and don’t have any kids or any ex-wives. I still feel like I have emotinal baggage though because I think that at this age I should have had some ex-wives or kids. lol

    It’s a two edged sword because i feel judged by women for not being married or having any kids at this age and then it comes out as defensiveness when they ask me questions about me history.

    I have got to clean that baggage out – take it to the curb and be happy about myself and current life postion.


  • Shane September 4, 2010, 10:59 AM

    It’s usually easier said than done isn’t it? That’s why we need people like you April. Figure out HOW it’s done and pass on the info.


  • Betty November 12, 2010, 12:56 PM

    how you are, April! Dating again after 40 and divorce is really different than dating in your twenties. This was a really marvelous dating tips post!
    Also I obtain much in your subject really thanks very much i will come again

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