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Internet Dating Textetiquette Texting Tip #6 for Singles: Not Every Number Exchange Produces a Date

Internet Dating Textetiquette Texting Tip #6 for Singles: Not Every Number Exchange Produces a Date


Sad to say, just because the two of you met at a dating site, emailed to establish small talk ability for a date, agreed you two were sufficiently attracted and interested that you two wanted to meet for an actual date, doesn’t mean you will then actually MEET for a date.


Internet Dating Couple Meeting Offline for Glass of Wine First Date

Internet Dating Couple Meeting Offline for Glass of Wine First Date

Not every phone number exchange will yield a first date.


If you’ve been reading my series of Texting Tips for online dating etiquette, then you know already where the ball can get fumbled and dropped even after a successful email navigation even in the phoning and texting phase.


I’m predicting this become more of a problem and an obstacle for internet dating singles in the years ahead because of male and female communication expectations as well as different social expectations of making a phone call and sending text messages.


There will be some age and semi-generational issues of communication expectations conflicting which will contribute to there be a confusion and an obstacle to singles actually managing to get together.


I must say, I am all for texting for short exchanges of information, but preferably between people who have already met in person.


In workshops and one on one dating coaching just so the single guys can completely side step this issue and potential obstacle completely, I just recommend that once they acquired a woman’s phone number that they phone her within 24 hours.


In fact, while you are still with the safety confines of the dating site’s web email, in reply to the email where she gave you her phone number in reply to your giving her your phone number, tell her, “Cool.  Thanks.  I’ll give you a call tonight after work.”


Boom.  No need to say anything more or anything else.


Rachel Robinson of  Act Presidential chimed in with how annoying it is to receive an early morning [lazy] “Hey” text while you’re getting ready for work and leaving all the conversation making heavy lifting to the woman.


The other problem with that is anyone with a professional life and a career will start to WONDER about you as a mature adult also with a career.  If you start texting during the day with inane one or two word texts you’re both being annoying and you start your Prospective Date wondering and pondering just how mature you are.  They’ll start to wonder if you lack a career.  They’ll be wondering if you have a dead end job and are not actually financially mature and stable.


Was that what you wanted them to be wondering about you?


And you’ll be interrupting their own career professional life and day.  Which is not only not considerate behavior for someone for the first few dates, but it is also longer term not relationship considerate behavior.  The very behavior you engage in while dating forms the habits for the relationship behavior you’ll do later.  We all learn along the way and can change your behavior and improve.  However, whatever you allow to be your habits now will be your relationship habits later on.


And interrupting their day pointlessly and expecting that they drop everything in your professional day to respond to their text messages and make the effort to engage them in conversation will not be relationship building conducive.


Do yourself a favor and avoid that behavior now.  Within 24 -36 hours after you get her phone number, phone to work out the arrangements for your first date.  Doing otherwise and you jeopardize ever managing to meet for a first date.


Happy Dating and Relationships,


April Braswell


Internet Dating and Relationship Expert

as seen in “Dating for Dummies” 3rd Edition


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{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Clare Delaney May 18, 2011, 9:14 PM

    Texting is a minefield in the potentially tricky early days. With your advice, we can all navigate more safely!

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  • April, the same could be said for texting late as texting early. It amazes me how late people I do not know well will text me after I am asleep.
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  • Sonya Lenzo May 19, 2011, 4:55 AM

    and here is another scenario…the woman thinks the guy has several women he is “texting” with and several he is “phoning” and his texting her means she is further down the line….
    Sonya Lenzo

  • Dewayne Chriswell May 19, 2011, 5:01 AM

    Texting has changed so much about how we communicate. It can be intimidating.
    Dewayne Chriswell

  • John Moulder May 19, 2011, 5:38 AM

    It seems that some people have no clue , and are getting more clueless . No problem when you are older as most of the time I am not sure where my phone is . Plays a very small part of my life .

  • Body Language May 19, 2011, 7:37 AM

    …and I suspect it is just as well…in most cases…

  • Kevin Bettencourt May 19, 2011, 12:46 PM

    It seems the additional technology has sent some people back into middle school.

  • Eva Palmer May 19, 2011, 1:10 PM

    My flatmate sometimes meets people on line and maybe they text very much at the beggining and at any time,…after a while, she always finds out that they had some “issues” and she doesn’t want to meet them again. As you point, whatever you allow to be your habits now will be your relationship habits later on…

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  • Peggy Larson May 19, 2011, 3:12 PM

    I think you’re right on about there being some age and semi-generational issues about the texting, especially during the person’s work day. Good advice.


  • Neil Dhawan May 22, 2011, 3:56 PM

    Hmmmm … that’s a great point to ponder (and work on NOW), your dating behavior becomes your relationship behavior. Thanks for another thought-provoking article.

    Best, Neil

  • Bryan May 22, 2011, 5:43 PM

    Most guys think that any conversation that goes back and forth will lead to a date….if not more…that is why I have my friend read your blog,…you are truely the expert at relationships….

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