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Integrity in Dating: Online Dating Profile Photograph Advice PT2

Integrity in Dating: Online Dating Profile Photograph Advice PT2

Internet Dating Profile Photos Integrity or Lying for Single Guys

My posting about the Internet Dating Profile Photo phenomena of someone actually posting someone else’s photograph in their Internet Personals Ads raised quite a ruckus with my Dating and Relationships Advice Blog readers. (Integrity in Dating: Online Dating Profile Photograph Advice PT1)  Most singles and some of the relationship success married couples readers were simply floored that any single would post a dating profile photo of anyone but themselves in their online dating profile.  Certainly, most of the premium, paid and better Internet Matchmaking Industry websites like Match, Mingle, AmericanSingles, LavaLife, Chemistry, and Eharmony attract singles who are interested in a serious relationship.  Therefore, of course, they post dating profiles of themselves.  The singles who don’t post a photo of themselves just are either too young, or too obtuse.  Perhaps they really are just completely clueless and feeling massively discouraged about their chances to find lasting love online.

 

Lying With Your Photo At Your Internet Dating Profile Scenario 2: You in Better Times

Internet Personals Ads Photos, Online Dating Expert Photo Tips, Internet Dating Profile Writer Advice

Internet Dating Profile Photo Single Guy

The other Dating Profile Photo issue which prompts so many singles to ask if there is Integrity in Dating these days with Internet Dating is the phenomena of using old photographs.  This particular absence of Integrity in Dating scenario seems to occur more often from single men.

 

Dreadful Dating Profile Photos:  Drivers License Photographs

In the early days of photos being available to share and post digitally online, it seemed that many more of the single men at the internet dating sites would post an image of the Drivers License photo.  It was a sure sign that they were among the technically challenged. Not to mention they were clueless about putting their best foot forward, because only the most photogenic people take good and photographically flattering Drivers License Photographs.

 

Dreadful Dating Profile Photos:  Dire Dating Deception Detected

Secondarily they would post old photographs of themselves.  These photos would often be what must have been the equivalent of their college prom photos.  The men’s hair would be long, evocative of the early 1980s and they’d be sporting a bushy mustache while wearing a Robin’s Egg Blue Tux.  Clearly this was an image of them that was not remotely recent.

I’ve heard from a number of single women that the men’s dating profile photo would be half dark, concealing his face, creating a mystery man impression.  Alternatively, the photo would show him with a hair style similar to what he wears now, only a touch longer…. and the physique he had a good ten years ago.

 

Another variation on the “… In Better Years” online dating profile photos from men, would be of a man with a similar garb and hairstyle to what he wears now with a shot of him with a very young girl, presumably his daughter.  Then you find out that he has only 1 daughter, and she has entered her freshman year in college.  String that story together, and yes, that means that the photos he is using of himself in his dating profile are from at least 13 years ago.  That is an example of a Lack of Integrity in Dating.  He might not have thought of that as an overt lie, but it certainly was deceptive.

 

Now many single women will be somewhat forbearing with single men and their photo challenges.  I know some single women who in the past could tell the photos were a bit out-of-date and would give the guy a chance.  Essentially you have the First Date to impress her that you are still good looking, or appealing in some manner sufficient to warrant her becoming attracted to you.

 

However, after awhile, as a single guy using phenomenally old photos of you, you will simply find out that you have lost all appeal to women online because they do not want to be put in the position of walking you through how to upload a digital photograph or to insist that you post a photo of yourself from this decade.  She will simply feel fed up and not interested in being your dating site technical support before you have bought her a First Date glass of wine.

 

If you are still doing this, please, either apply to have me write your dating profile and coach you with photos and email, or attend one of my Internet Dating Workshops in Southern California or Las Vegas.

 

Happy Dating and Relationships,

 

 

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

RELATED DATING ARTICLES

Should You Lie About Your Age in Your Online Dating Profile?

Online Dating Faux Pas in “Happily Divorced”

 

 

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{ 15 comments… add one }
  • Cherie Miranda October 19, 2011, 9:49 PM

    This makes me think of all the real estate agents I’ve met who have 20 year old photos on their business cards. You look at them and wonder who the heck is on their card. 🙂 It does smack of low integrity.

    Cherie Miranda
    A Noteworthy Event

  • Michael D Walker October 19, 2011, 10:15 PM

    You make several excellent points about people needing to make sure their photos online are current and representative of how they look now whether in online business relationships or internet dating.

    Michael
    Write It Down

  • Rob Malone October 20, 2011, 2:06 AM

    It always amazes me people who think it is a disgrace to age. We all grow older and as we do we change physically. Gosh I went to my 30 year high school reunion and only recognized about one fourth of the people, thank goodness for name tags.

    Starting Up A New Small Business

  • Sonya Lenzo October 20, 2011, 6:11 AM

    April, I could give a list of examples of this that I have run in to but I wont…I will just say that it is disappointing…and it causes the first few minutes of the actual meeting to be spent in a kind of “who is this person” sense of unreality. I don’t think it has ever lead to a second meeting.
    Sonya Lenzo

  • Dennis Perry October 20, 2011, 6:35 AM

    In many ways, this is no different than your previous post of using someone else’s photo. It is not a true representation of the person you are now.

    Again, be open and honest from Day 1. As someone once said, always tell the truth. It’s easier to remember what you said.

    Dennis

  • Kevin Bettencourt October 20, 2011, 1:52 PM

    Dating Profile Photos have to be at least reasonably current. I for one can’t believe people lie with Internet Dating Photos.

  • Alex Arshavskiy October 20, 2011, 4:16 PM

    April,
    I like your point regarding the phenomena of using old photographs.
    Obviously it’s not ethical. However, it can be a good anchor for some people.

  • Neil Dhawan October 20, 2011, 6:05 PM

    April,

    I think it is great that you are willing to help out singles with their dating profile to make sure that they have the chance to put their “best foot forward” … some singles may just be lazy; others may be well-intentioned, but clueless 🙂

    Stay Amazing and Do Great Things, Neil
    A Voice for Animals

  • Reading body language flirting tips October 20, 2011, 7:58 PM

    April, Beyond the photo what about the lies about height, income, jobs or even the relationship status? Great article on integrity and dating for Internet Singles, as ever.
    Scott Sylvan Bell
    Reading body language of flirting
    Now go implement!

  • Clare Delaney October 20, 2011, 10:36 PM

    Well done April on highlighting issues with non-current photos. Our egos are fragile things! It’s good to know people can come to you for great advice on displaying themselves to their best advantage without lying.

    EcoExpert

  • Annie Born October 20, 2011, 10:48 PM

    April,
    An excellent article!
    Is there a service to produce photos for online to get you the best look with integrity?
    Looking forward to tomorrow!
    Create a great day!
    Time to Care for the Caregiver Now?

  • John Moulder October 21, 2011, 2:41 AM

    I also don’t get the old photo syndrome . In some cases you get better at posing for a photo as you get older .

  • Eva Palmer October 21, 2011, 1:47 PM

    I agree with John!
    Sometimes you get better as you grow! Untill you don’t…but for a few years you can definetly improve with posing!

  • Body Language October 21, 2011, 4:42 PM

    Is there anyway to know if a person is using old or faked photos?

    Mark Hogan

  • Andrew Miner October 28, 2011, 2:06 AM

    Hey, what’s wrong with a bushy mustache and a Robin’s Egg Blue Tux? Haha! That would be classic!

    Andrew
    http://www.andrewminer.net/exercisejustgetoutthere/

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