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Ask April Answers: How Do I Talk to the Cute Guy at the Coffee Shop? PT 2

Ask April Question:  This originally came from a girl who wanted to know about how to talk to a cute guy she saw at a coffee shop.  If you’re a subscriber of Connecting with April, then you know I love coaching men and women to frequent coffee shops to practice flirting and meeting cute guys and gals.  Dunkin Donuts, Seattle’s Best, Caribou Coffee, Starbucks, McCafe, Peets.

Once I responded just a little with ways to talk to the cute guy and flirt, a lot more questioning surfaced out about style, fashion, looking good and staying true to yourself.  The fact is, indeed, the fashion and beauty industries aim to sell you a whole lot, and in many cases, push an image and pressure to make-up for days and shop-til-you drop.  Women and girls whose style is much simpler than that can feel like something must be wrong with them, worry that they have to put up a false front only later to drop it, and simply lose themselves completely.

Cute young happy couple having fun together

I like April’s advice. The problem is I hate shopping and the only outfits I can create are combinations of jeans and shirts. I also wear no makeup. I am Asian so my face is relatively flat and my eyes are shallow. I’ve tried wearing waterproof mascara in that past but before long skin below my lower eyelids are smudged from my upper lashes and I look like a raccoon. Plus, whenever I yawn, I tear up so much I look like I am crying. This is another way my mascara is smudged. One more thing: is it a bad idea to try to be someone I am not? If I dislike shopping and makeup, I doubt I can pretend to like it for long. If I somehow manage to dress cute and wear makeup and the guy asks me out, eventually he will know the real me…the girl who is plain and makeup-less.

Hi AB, I saw some of your additional questions in your question. My advice with clothes and make up is to have it package YOU as your best YOU, never to be someone else. Now there is playing with color and clothes like dress-up when we are kids, to try new things to stretch yourself to express another aspect of you. But always you.

Mascara, while Caucasian, I have a similar eye thing. Experiment with wearing mascara only on your upper lashes. Maybe just a touch of a colored lip gloss? Or a lip stain sort of lip balm? Light make-up. There are compact make-ups out there which are foundation make-up and they are only just a touch “heavier” than wearing simply facial powder.  If that seems like too much for your personal style, then experiment with using just a face powder compact and use it in the T-Zone, across your forehead (pat, pat, pat), your nose (dab, dab just around the tip area), and then, lastly, your chin (pat, pat).  You can just use a wee bit of it on your cheeks.  That can be very light and just give you a finished look.

 

If you find over time and playing with it a little that you kinda like the powder make-up and sometimes the compact foundation, then at that time, venture over to the Minerals style of make-up and try it on.  You can find something in most Ulta and Sephora stores.  Make sure you tell anyone who helps you that you just want a very light look, only Minerals foundation etc. and a lip gloss.  If you are feeling a little adventurous, let them show you an eye look for you and just keep reminding them that you don’t want anything heavily made up.  Sure, their job is to help you, AND to sell you product, so they will always offer more, just push back a bit, and, also, maybe try a little something.

Clothes: jeans and a top can be darling. Find colors that both flatter you and express you. Maybe a touch of color to contrast with how most guys dress. Try things on. You don’t have to make shopping into a lifestyle. Experiment at a store like once a month until you find what you want. If you really want to know more, ping me at my website and I can tell you more. It’s really a whole additional question than what you originally asked about how to interact with cute Peets guy. Happy to address that more later.

Does that help?

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April

April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences.  Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?

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