Continuing in my Lent series before Easter Single Christian / Catholic Dating Tips, I’d like to give both single women and single men an extra nudge so when you do make all that effort to locate other area churches, alternative services, and Adult Study groups that you then make the most of your time.
Single Christians Seeking Christian Marriage-Minded Relationship: Don’t Drop the Ball Halfway Through Execution
So often single men and single women will attend a singles workshop with me, buy an audio product or mine, or hire me to coach them. And then will take the series of action steps advised as part of their strategy to get a boyfriend or get a girlfriend fast.
Only they will fall short at about the half way mark.
Single Christians Seeking Christian Marriage-Minded Relationship: Ways in Which Singles Dating Is Like Selling
That would like a sales person showing up for a sales call dressed shabbily, thinking their personal grooming doesn’t matter “if they really like me”, over-talking, staying too long for the first appointment, and leaving your materials at home. You’re setting yourself up for failure, risking your heart. And then you don’t understand what happened, why “it” didn’t work for you.
Often when this does happen, what I will hear about during the singles workshop breaks and one-on-one Personal Dating Coaching calls are those personal confessions of worrying about “What’s wrong with me?” The singles secretly confess that they worry that, “I must just not be attractive….”
There is nothing wrong with you! You can’t help it. You just didn’t know….
However there is something wrong with WHAT you are doing!
Single Christians Seeking Christian Marriage-Minded Relationship: Finding a Boyfriend or Girlfriend Does Include Your Character
Getting a girlfriend or getting a boyfriend is always a combination of factors. Yeah, it helps to be good looking, but that won’t last past about 3 dates if you’re not also a good person. Your Christian Character, personality, and temperament do matter. Character is a significant factor to attracting lasting love and building a marriage-minded relationship.
Single Christians Seeking Christian Marriage-Minded Relationship: What You Really Do Need to Do While Dating
When you’re a single Christian / Catholic guy or gal and you’re looking for love, you do need to….
- Dress Attractively (leave the super tight clothes or plunging necklines at home)
- Speak Graciously with Others (more people are listening to you than you realize)
- Treat Others Kindly (trust me, we’re all watching you)
- Get Proactive in Meeting Other Christian / Catholic Singles (if it’s “meant to be” it won’t just happen, don’t be 100% passive, it requires your actions)
And when you show up, be prepared to segue to a casual social interaction afterwards. This week (Holy Week/Passion Week) especially, many Christians / Catholics will be attending a variety of services. Many of them will be singles who only attend a few services a year. If you ever want to meet, socialize with, or potentially date any of them again, you must strike while the iron is hot this week because otherwise you might never see them again.
Single Christians Seeking Christian Marriage-Minded Relationship: Do Make Your Move
Talk to them and break the ice. Man or woman, don’t just wait hoping the other will approach you.
Single Christians Seeking Christian Marriage-Minded Relationship: Do Open Your Mouth
Be gracious. Ask questions about if they attend services here regularly or if it’s elsewhere.
Single Christians Seeking Christian Marriage-Minded Relationship: Do Segue to Socialize
Be sure to invite them to coffee with you and some other people. “A few of us are going out for a cup of coffee afterwards. It would great if you would join us.” Be sure they understand where the coffee house is. Make sure they have directions. Offer shared rides to ensure new people get there. And also offer them your personal card with the note of the name of the coffee house and address location on the back. This way, yes, they have your contact number. And feel free at that point to ask for their card as well. Because you gave them your card, you have established safety and security for their sharing personal contact information with you which many people are more loathe to do with so little privacy online.
If you don’t invite them for coffee and exchange contact information, you did practice your socializing and branching out habits. However, you might find in 3 weeks of concerted effort that nothing has happened for you whatsoever. But when you do make an effort and arrive prepared, you will be dating, mingling, and mixing it with your future girlfriend or boyfriend asap.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Other Relevant Singles Dating Advice Articles:
Singles Success Tip: Carry a Personal Card with You Always
Decoding Womans Body Language Flirting Signs: Personal Grooming Nails
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Kevin Hogan says
April 18, 2011 at 12:49 PMGreat dating advice as always.
Reading Body Language says
April 18, 2011 at 12:56 PMApril you always share the best and most effective tips.
Reading Body Language
Sonya Lenzo says
April 18, 2011 at 1:22 PMYup, showing up is half the work but not ALL the work. Glad you pointed that out. And then don’t burst the balloon by saying, I don’t drink coffee. They serve tea,italian sodas and hot chocolate at these places, too!
Sonya Lenzo
Dewayne Chriswell says
April 18, 2011 at 4:34 PMWhat an intersting parallel. Jesus told his disciples, I will make you fishers of men, (no pun intended), but first required that they put out their nets. Just knowing where the potential companions are isn’t enough, but does require a little effort. Great payoff of working on the social skills, even if all of your goals aren’t immediately met.
Dewayne Chriswell
http://dewaynechriswell.com
Clare Delaney-Young says
April 18, 2011 at 8:42 PMGreat advice, and I particularly liked giving out cards rather than online data. Thanks April!
Clare
For Everything Eco-Friendly
Scott Sylvan Bell says
April 18, 2011 at 10:24 PMApril, this tip for dating is a good one, it makes sense to go to a date at a coffee house.
Scott Sylvan Bell
www,scottbellconsultant.com
Now go implement!
John Moulder says
April 19, 2011 at 3:41 AMJust being a pleasant person and chat to different person does work .
I got the girl and I wasn’t actively looking . I was being observed from afar and didn’t know . Maybe I should have said , the girl got me .
Trisha Chambers says
April 19, 2011 at 5:43 AMHey would you like to join us for coffee is a great way of bringing someone into the crowd for you to get to know better! Great advice!
Rachel Robinson says
April 19, 2011 at 6:39 AMThe business card is a great idea. It’s an easy way to open the lines of possible communication without coming on too strong.
Leadership Is A Choice
Peggy Larson says
April 19, 2011 at 8:48 AMMaking an invitation to someone to join a group going out for coffee as opposed to just a single person has some great potential benefits.
One, if the invitee doesn’t join the group, the inviter may not take it too personally and yet has broken the ice for future conversation;
two, conversation won’t be difficult in a group setting, no akward pauses or lulls in conversation topics;
and three, asking a stranger to go anywhere is safer in a group setting…just in case.
A Christian / Catholic event probably (hopefully) isn’t dangerous but in today’s world you never know so it’s better safe than sorry.
Peggy
Eva Palmer Hipnosis y PNL says
April 19, 2011 at 2:36 PMI agree with peggy!
I think it is a great idea to inviting someone to meet to a group, specially after a religious meeting. That way you also get to meet more people and the meeting can be more relaxed and not feel like a “date”.
Jennifer Battaglino says
April 19, 2011 at 5:46 PMI love how you spell it out which is why you are THE relationship expert. I love what you wrote because I can think of a few extremely attractive men over the years who became ugly fast as I realized they were also…well you fill in the blanks!
Jennifer Battaglino
Personalized Empowerment – Face Your Fear
Neil Dhawan says
April 20, 2011 at 7:11 PMIt sounds so easy with simple steps … I like the idea of the card with the name of the coffee house on it, too. I know you are talking about the clothes here and I also heard that the hair ( if you have it ) is also a very important consideration to pay attention to … your thoughts?
Best,
Neil
Ann says
January 1, 2012 at 11:51 AMGod made Adam & Eve and has not changed his way of making marriage partners since. God introduces you to each other at marriagable age, and tells you that you are husband and wife. Otherwise, don’t date. God does not make boyfriends and girlfriends, he makes husbands and wives straight from conception and introduces you. Keep yourself for that one. Then get married straight away. If you are on the right path with God, and pray for your partner, you will both be on the right path and at God’s timing, he will cross your paths. The Bible says, What GOD has put together. Most marriages God does not even pitch to the wedding. He turns a deaf ear. They are not put together by God. They did their own thing, and it is not their husband, it is a stranger they are marrying – a stranger before and a stranger afterwards too. Marriages put together by God are honeymoon forever – real husband and wife – and the world system does not understand this. Marriage is simply the putting together of the two halves into one whole, but they are already the husband and wife halves God said they were. They fit no matter which way you look at it. 1000%, cup running over. Highly anointed husband and wife. It is the only way God makes it. God pitches at the wedding. They have a common future. God may even prophesy their babies. These are the only real husbands and wives on earth. Keep yourself pure and untouched for them. Two bodies that are virgins, called by God husband and wife, kept for each other only their whole life through, and the marriage bed is pure and holy, is God’s plan for mankind. Few find it, and those that do, understand real marriage to the rest of themselves – male and female sides of the same one person. These two must both keep themselves in Christ for it to work to its maximum benefit.
thanks
Ann