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End of Summer Romance: Flirt Without Expectations

End of Summer Romance: Flirt Without Expectations

Now that it is the month of August, those wonderful feelings of “Endless Summer” summer vacation days are starting to wane.  The school year is looming around the corner. Getting back into the grind of college and school is starting to rear its head.

Does that mean that your dreams of experiencing “Summer Romance” or a special “Summer Love” have to end 1 month early just because it hasn’t already happened?  Nope.  Sure, don’t be aiming for a Summer Romance of 3 months when all you have left to you summer season is 3 weeks.  It always seems to be Labor Day Weekend is the grand official “End of Summer” event.  Even if your school, college, or university doesn’t start its classes until a week or so later.

But what can you do with only 3 weeks?


3 weeks is not a full fledged romance and relationship.


3 weeks could be a high school romance where emotions are intense and short lived.


However, if you are college or university aged and a bit more mature than that, then you do not want to be aiming for a Relationship with a capital R. You don’t want to be aiming for a major relationship when that just may not be possible.  Plus nothing is a bigger turn off and romance deactivating than when someone is desperate and pushing too much, too fast, too soon in an impossibly short time frame.  They come off in desperation.  And all feelings of romantic chemistry, attraction, and magnetizing are deactivated completely.

Better to avoid that possibility completely.

Of course, you are still open to love should that door open.  You just don’t want to race to friend each other at Facebook and make Fall plans to visit each other’s colleges’ Homecoming events and Autumn Weekend dances, parties, and sports events.  Better to close that door and let it reopen only if your life paths cross again spontaneously.  Refrain from forcing events to make that happen when you are only just in college.

What can you aim for romantically when you have only 3 more weeks left to your summer?


Aim to Flirt without Expectations.  Free yourself of the expectation and requirement that your flirtatious expressions lead anywhere.

Do aim to get out and flirt and meet people each and every day of the final days of summer.  Wherever you have been getting your iced coffees, do a Store Locator search and go to a new location.  Go at a different time than you usually do.  Be sure to say hello and smile and exchange light social pleasantries with the others in the store or at the tables in the sun outside.  And smile.  Did I mention smile?  Smile.  A smile opens doors and the possibilities of people just warmly responding to you.

It’s the single men in particular who are always asking me for  the scripted words of precisely what could they say different social scenes.  For End of Summer season, you could utter:

“Sure is a scorcher today!”

“Wow it’s so hot and it’s only 10 am.  Sure am glad to get an iced coffee!”

“Man, it’s a hot one.  How is that iced tea?  What flavor is that?”


Free yourself from the requirement that your flirting must result in a date or a relationship.  Who knows?  Sure, your flirting could lead to a coffee date.  Or your flirting might result in a date at the Summer Rock concert series or Beach Resort Town BBQ festivities.  But maybe really nothing much more than that.  it’s like only interest and a wistfulness are possible now.  Wistfulness is very romantic!  Play it up.  “Oh if only….”  “Who knows what might have been possible if we’d met earlier in the summer….” However, do let it end there.  Just with a wistfulness and smile.  Doing so leaves things like and romantic, minus any of the heaviness which can ensue when one or the two of you try to make it more or last longer just because you met in only the final weeks of summer.


When you free yourself of the expectation to create a relationship, then you free yourself to take a few more risks than you would normally.  By going to places you don’t normally frequent, who cares if you were a little bolder with your flirting today and gave the guy your number in a moment of blazing self-confidence before leaving the store.  You’ll never see him again anyway if he doesn’t phone you.  And guys, go ahead and chat up the cute girl at the sandwich shop and ask for her phone number to ask her on a date.  If she gives you the brush off, no skin off your nose.  You can get a roast beef sandwich somewhere else next time.  And who knows, she might just smile shyly and write her number of the paper wrapping of your sandwich.  Stretch a little bit.  Practice your fun flirting skills.  Most of all, aim to have fun.  If you’re not laughing and giggling at yourself and your endeavors at some point each day, you’re not taking enough of a risk, and you’re not having a good enough time.


So, in the beginning days of August, let go and release your dreams for a Summer Romance and instead embrace the light flickering flirtations of a End of Summer Flirtation. Who knows where it might lead you? When you let go of the set result, you can free yourself to simply enjoy meeting who you meet, and enjoying the social events of the End of Summer.  Having those fun flirting memories will warm your thoughts when you’re back at school again in the Fall and the days start to get chiller.

{ 1 comment… add one }
  • Lisa McLellan August 21, 2012, 4:42 PM

    This is great end of summer advice! In the North End in Boston, the residents used to have a “feast” almost every weekend. (I’m not sure if they still do, I haven’t been there in years.) The biggest one was the end of summer – the Feast of Saint Anthony. It was always a blast; food, flirting, and fun! The streets were full of people. The restaurants were full, the bars were full, tons of street vendors sold all sorts of delicious foods and desserts. It was a great place to meet people. That’s the first thing that came to mind when I read this post.

    Lisa McLellan
    Child Care Expert
    Nanny Services

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