To start out my series for Boomer Dating this week, I want to touch on what is a so common characteristic of Boomer Singles. Often the over 40, over 50, and over 60 single is either divorced or has lost a spouse to death. Where does the grief from those loss events go?
It was a particularly wonderful Easter and an intriguing group we made. Without revealing anything private about OTHER people’s lives, suffice to say, turned out we had 2 widowers and 1 widow (me) in the group. In addition, Divorced singles.
Yes, the conversation turned to talking about our losses and the naturally occurring mix of emotions called Grief. The most important thing to do was First in my behavior to dispel the Grief Myth of DON’T FEEL BAD. When a griever starts to speak of any of the events related to the loss events like DIVORCE or DEATH, one of the best things we can do for them is to LISTEN and AFFIRM the emotions. Refrain from analytical assessments which in a manner expresses to them, “You are wrong to be FEELING… bad.” Since GriefRecover® is about completing the EMOTIONS related to loss events, mirror and affirm the emotions. “Oh, ouch [hand over heart], what happened?” Then listen.
A lot of the work around Grief out there is about spiraling and spiraling with the emotional statements. Well-meaning people recommend “let go.” Which sounds like a wonderful statement indeed, but then HOW DO YOU LET GO? How do you complete the spinning mix of emotions from a Divorce?
The GriefRecovery® process is unique in that it provides clear concrete ACTION STEPS for completing the emotions.
Recently I heard one man utter the statement, “It’s been 5 years and I find I can’t move on.” How could he? The emotions are still there because he didn’t have the tools with which to complete the emotions, the grief from Divorce and Death.
Now that my business is in Las Vegas, I will start offering Divorce Recover and GriefRecovery® Workshops in Las Vegas and Henderson. Each year there are over 8 million new grievers from death events alone. The cumulative effect of unresolved grief is a mess and unfulfilled, unlived lives.
The best way to reach me for participating in the workshop series is by email: AprilJBraswell(AT)aol.com.
Yes, there IS work involved. However, whose life is it? Live it and allow yourself to complete the emotions so you can genuinely love again.