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Dispelling 5 Myths About Cougar Dating for Single Boomer Women

Dispelling 5 Myths About Cougar Dating for Single Boomer Women

Baby Boomers Bust Cougar Dating Myths

Debunking Cougar Dating Myths About Older Woman/Younger Man Marriages

As Cougar Dating becomes more mainstream with glamorous real-life examples from Hollywood of forties, fifties, and sixties alluring women Demi Moore, Susan Sarandon, and Goldie Hawn, here are some of the Dating Myths about Younger Men dating Older Women which still linger in our popular culture.

Cougar Dating Myth #1.  They only want one thing

The sexual chemistry which can exist between younger men and their older women counterparts cannot be denied.  However, the truth is, many younger men who pursue older women are not just looking for a one night stand or weekend fling.  Truth bears out that they are seeking relationships of a more lasting nature.

Cougar Dating Myth #2.  Those relationships are so short lived

The relationships are not just weekend or one month flinglettes.  Many of the Older Women Younger Men relationships pursuing Cougar Dating are quite long lived, whether they are life partners or become married couples.  2 example couples, one Bay Area, one Los Angeles, have been married 10 years and life partnered for 6 years respectively.

Cougar Dating Myth #3.  Those Cougar Women Are So Aggressive

Often it is the younger man who has her in his sights, wants her for a relationship and actively pursues her.  Frequently the younger man must make an additional pitch to help the single boomer woman to over come her own prejudices, judgments, and beliefs sufficient to consider his romantic suit of her.  Often the Boomer Women won’t date him until he first demonstrates the earnestness of his romantic interest in her. One Los Angeles area Cougar Love couple, they met while the two were on a work project together.  He pursued her having to make his case for over 1 year before she would consider dating him.  Indeed, this Christmas they’ll be celebrating 7 years together.

Cougar Dating Myth #4.  Tacky and Sordid

Initially the label “Cougar” was affixed to tackily dressed women who prowled singles bars in some sordid manner.  But was that label ever even really expressive of actual life?  Many of the Cougar Women are quite smart, classy, and attractive women of varying social classes.

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Younger Man Relationship

Cougar Dating Myth #5.  The Men Must Be Unattractive and Hard Up

The counterpart myth to the Cougar Dating Myth that the women must be overly aggressive or tacky in some manner is the belief then that the young man must be hard up somehow.  Surely he is not attractive.  Not only is that highly prejudicial and biases that men would only be attracted to women their own age or younger.  But it is simply not true.  In both the case of the Northern Californian and Southern Californian couples cited, the young man was very attractive for what women find attractive.  While neither has the hyperpolished fashion image of GQ, both possessed more rugged masculine good looks combined with sterling relationship qualities and fabulous physiques.  The consistency of their character and pursuit and stability. These are a combination which made these men fabulously attractive to women with mature taste wanting more than just a pretty face in man.

Having dispelled all these myths about Cougar Dating, when you venture out and onto the net for online dating, keep an open mind about the age range for your search.  You just might find love online where you least expected it, in the arms of a younger man!

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups.  Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?

{ 31 comments… add one }
  • Rob September 13, 2009, 3:16 AM

    You continue to add to good information on this topic.


  • Jose Escalante September 13, 2009, 4:07 AM

    Sorry ladies Im still taken…

    Jose Escalante

  • Robert Martin September 13, 2009, 6:36 AM

    So if I was single, and I wanted a “cougar”, being 44 how old a women would I be looking for?

    Robert Martin

  • April Braswell September 13, 2009, 8:33 AM

    Hi Robert,

    In general it is where the woman is older. I would say more than a year older. So you would be looking for women about 49 or older. They say 50 is the new 40, and indeed, there are plenty of really vital and super sexy ladies over 50 who look fantastic and who have taken great care of themselves so their energy level is great.

    Happy Dating and Relationships,


  • Steve Chambers September 13, 2009, 9:14 AM

    Very informative post.

    Steve Chambers
    Business to Business Sales Training Expert

  • Lynn Lane September 13, 2009, 12:02 PM

    Great information. Seems so easy for people to get the wrong ideas from popular tv, movies and the tabloids.

    Hey, what do you call an older man that dates younger women?

    Lynn Lane


  • Martin September 13, 2009, 11:21 AM

    Interesting stuff – A good counterbalance to the stereotypical cougar stories expounded by the popular press.

  • Mister P. September 13, 2009, 11:36 AM

    Still an interesting subject…

    Cougar Dating for Single Boomer Women.


  • Terry September 13, 2009, 12:27 PM

    I agree…these women ARE smart, classy, and attractive.


  • Kate McKeon September 13, 2009, 1:50 PM

    More cougar talk! A cougar is defined as a much older woman so a 44 year old man might consider a 60 year old woman to be a cougar.

    Building talent, Kate

  • Darryl Pace September 13, 2009, 1:52 PM


    Interesting and insightful information. This cougar series reminds me of a guy I knew when I worked as a teenager at a grocery store. I’ve forgotten the guy’s name, but he was probably 18 years old at the time. He was a bag boy. He was in a relationship with one of the cashiers. She was probably in her late twenties or early thirties.

    Health, Fitness for Working People — Darryl Pace

  • April Braswell September 13, 2009, 4:51 PM

    Rawwwwwwr! lol!

    thanks for stopping by my blog, Gre. Sooooo, how old is Kurt? what do YOU think he finds most appealing about Cougar women?

    Happy Dating and Relationships,


  • Greg September 13, 2009, 3:57 PM

    My friend Kurt goes for cougars.

  • April Braswell September 13, 2009, 5:46 PM

    Hi Katie,

    Thanks for stopping by my blog from down under! I have NOT yet been to either NZ or Australia and do certainly WANT to do so! Perhaps in 2011. I feel that 2009 and 2010 have a lot of US speaking and presenting for me to do.

    By 2011 sometime I can be snorkling in The Reef.

    Indeed, the contrast of career and child bearing and rearing stages is part of what contributes to Cougar Love Chemistry!

    Happy Dating and Relationships!

    April Braswell

  • Anthony Lemme September 13, 2009, 5:05 PM

    I was the target of a cougar a few years ago…lol. She was 40 and I was 35 but she thought I was 25. We hung out a few times but when she found out I was only 5 years younger she was shocked and got very upset. Apparently she only went for guys in their 20’s and due to my appearance at the time thought I was. I thought it was pretty funny and a little sad. But she clearly didn’t and felt duped. So I guess different cougars do it for different reasons. Maybe we shouldn’t call some older women with younger men cougars. The one I met definitely was but I don’t think many of the others qualify.


  • Katie September 13, 2009, 5:15 PM

    So agree! plenty of these guys are legitimate contenders and some feel that women their age are too focused on career or the guys are not interested in having children.

    , Katie

  • Scott Paye September 13, 2009, 5:29 PM

    cooo cooo ca chu
    Mr Robinson

  • Keri Eagan September 13, 2009, 5:58 PM

    It’s cool things are changing in the dating world. As I age there are more choices which means more control over our lives.

    PS “target of a cougar” lol

    Keri Eagan

  • Lisa McLellan September 13, 2009, 10:05 PM

    I need to pass this Cougar dating thing on to my girlfriend. She and her friend’s brother were really attracted to each other. They had lots of fun together whenever they would see each other but the family kept making comments like “you two would be a great couple if only you were younger.”

    Lisa McLellan
    Babysitting Services – Babysitters and Nannies

  • John Ho September 14, 2009, 7:48 AM

    It’s always worth to clear the air. And you’ve doen so brilliantly without the help of analysing their birthdates through Numerology.

    John Ho

  • JJ Jalopy September 14, 2009, 1:56 PM

    Can you tell Anthony to stop boasting, please?!


  • April Braswell September 15, 2009, 8:52 AM

    Hi Lisa,

    yes, please do share my blog and website with your girlfriend. Sometimes in certain geo-areas, the older beliefs and prejudices linger longer. And both the singles don’t even seriously consider each other half-thinking, my family will never accept this. Or they just don’t even SEE the other single for a relationship because of their filter and perception system. Sometimes a little nudge from a sweet friend like you encouraging them that they would be accepted makes all the difference in the world. I mean, could you imagine people saying that about race, ethnicity, or the like as if that were acceptable anymore?


  • Ludolph L. Misher May 10, 2010, 11:16 AM

    April…I find that there are so many misconceptions concerning what Older Women (Identified as Cougars)represents. These Women (most of them) are Wonderfully Intelligent,Secure,Confident and rightly so,…Sure Of Themselves! They aren’t preying on younger Men…It’s mostly… the same Attraction anyone else has when what they SEE is processed as someone they have an interest in! The Fact that statistics show an unbalanced percentile ratio of Men to Women ….Companionship and a Quality of Life are important to most Women…no matter the age. My Past experiences with Mature Women has complimented my life Emencely! This special Relationship is not for those with inhabitions and obvious imaturity…only for the ones who are capable of adjusting to lifestyle changes…everything else remains the same! Live and Let Live!…Ludolph

  • Moira January 8, 2011, 1:53 AM

    Still it seems difficult to find single men my own age. Where are all the senior single men? Even the ones who aren’t married always seem to have a date already.

  • Subliminal Hypnotism Secrets April 20, 2011, 3:01 PM

    Cougar women are hot. What is the secret to winning with older women?

  • Alissa May 3, 2011, 9:07 AM

    Hi April. I see plenty of healthy relationships where the woman is older than the man, however, it feels like society still frowns on it not taking the relationships seriously. Most of the tv shows even poke fun at it. What gives? WHen will people get over it and leave us alone?

  • Orin May 5, 2011, 12:37 PM

    Here in the EU it is very acceptable that younger men find mature women very desirable and sexy for their culture and sexual experience. You Americans are so funny and uptight.

  • Henrik May 7, 2011, 12:51 PM

    it must be so different in the United States than it is here in Europe about the sex appeal of older experienced women are so sexy.

  • Lucy May 13, 2011, 12:07 PM

    Why is it so strange that young men find women with experience so sexy like they do in France for centuries?

  • Jena May 1, 2012, 7:37 PM

    I suppose I am a cougar and always have been. My first husband was 10 years younger (married 10 years) my second husband was 8 years younger(together for 8 years). I am now in a relationship with a man 23 years younger (lol, maybe this one will last 23 years!). Not only is he the most attractive man I’ve ever dated, he is also the kindest, sweetest, most intelligent man. I have no idea why he is so crazy about me but I’m glad he is. Both of our families and our friend’s have no problem with the age difference as long as we are happy. I’m not looking to ever marry again and he already has a child from a previous relationship. Life is too short to pass by opportunities to be happy just because others don’t approve.

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