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Dating Again After Divorce Advice For Women: Taking Back Your Maiden Name?

Dating Again After Divorce Advice For Women: Taking Back Your Maiden Name?

Dating Again After Divorce Help 4 Single Women: Taking Back Your Maiden Name?

Dating Again After Divorce Tips for Gals: Do You Want to Take Back Your Maiden Name?

Divorced Women Dating Advice: Do You Take Back Your Maiden Name Now That You’re Single Again?

 

Questions for Divorced Single Women Considering Changing Back Their Last Name After Divorcing…

Dating Expert 4 Women, Divorced Dating Advice, Dating Again After Divorce Help for Women, Single Moms Dating Tips,

Girlfriends Laughing Together

In discussing all of the behaviors and mores of contemporary singles dating online and off, there is a high percentage of modern day singles who are divorced singles dating again.  Well, for the divorced single women, many of them consider their names and are pondering to return to using their maiden name. And some don’t even think of taking back their maiden name until they are out with their girlfriends sipping and imbibbing a glass of wine of a G&T out on their monthly Girls Night Out and a girlfriend suddenly pipes up and says to her, “You are going to take your maiden name back!” 

 

Her single girlfriend really utters it more as a statement of fact, you start to notice.  She didn’t really pose it as a question to you.  And perhaps by now you are onto your second glass of merlot.  You retort back to her and to your gathered posse of BFFs as you declare, “Of course I’m taking back my maiden name!”

 

And then later on back at home, as you look in the bathroom mirror, taking your make up off, noticing a wrinkle line around your eyes as you reflect on yourself in your mirror reflection as you brush and floss your teeth… “Do I really want to take back my maiden name? I’ve used my married for so many years…”

 

Divorced Dating Advice for Women: Questions to Answer for Yourself When Considering Taking Back Your Maiden Name – How Long Was the Marriage?

How long were the two of your married?  How long did you use your husband’s last name, now your ex-husband’s last name?  If you were married just a short period of time, then you might not really feel that your married name became part of your identity.  If you were married for more than 5 year, 10 years, 15 years, or over 20 plus years, quite often your married name was what you used for a long time.  Your married name has become part of your identity.  You divorced, you didn’t stop being yourself.

 

Divorced Dating Advice for Women: Questions to Answer for Yourself When Considering Taking Back Your Maiden Name – Do You Have Children from Your Former Marriage?

Do you and your ex-husband have children together?  Do you have any children who have your ex-husband’s last name?  For divorced single women who are now divorced single moms, quite often your having children with the same last name as you do is one of the items to seriously consider when pondering changing your last name back to your maiden name.  How old are your children?  Are they adolescents and teenagers?  Will their crowd of friends at school ask them and grill them about why they have a different last name than their mother if you take back your maiden name?  Many of your children’s peers are from divorced families as well.  However, any little difference we have from our teen can suddenly become something for which they tease your child.  It might be socially easier for your kids if you keep the same last name that they have.

 

Divorced Dating Advice for Women: Questions to Answer for Yourself When Considering Taking Back Your Maiden Name – Do You Want to Celebrate a New Identity?

Whether you were married 25 years, 17 years, or 3 years, some divorced women have a desire to celebrate a whole new identity for themselves.  Often they might feel free with a new sense of independence.  Perhaps they married young right out of high school or college in response to a family pressure or cultural expectation.  And now that they are older and emerging free and unencumbered from their former marriage, they have a desire to celebrate their new found independence and self-determination.  So they crave casting off their married last name and re-embracing a self-actualized identity with their maiden name.  Perhaps they are starting a new career or embarking on college or university studies….

 

This is the 21st century now.  As a modern single woman, it is entirely your free choice to decide on your name and to determine what last name you want to use now.  Consider these 3 questions for yourself as you choose what it is that you want for yourself, your new life, your family, and your self-identity.  Only then can you respond freely and answer on your own, not your girlfriends deciding, or your family determining your answer for you….  Do you want to take back your maiden name or keep your married name?  It’s your choice and you are free to choose and determine your life and identity for yourself now.  Enjoy the journey!

 

Happy Dating and Relationships,

 

 

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

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About the author: April Braswell is an internationally recognized Dating and Relationship Expert. She coaches single men and women to attract and find the best life partner for them. April brings cutting edge behavioral research to singles to empower them for finding quality mates. Connect with April at Google+: plus.google.com/+AprilBraswell/

20 comments… add one

  • April,
    What is the succesful rate of a good match using this dating profile?
    Sometimes we look for the complementary and other times we look for the similarities.
    Octavio
    Lapiceros Publicitarios Lima

  • And here is another question to ask: how many computer systems at work will have to handle the name change? It took months to change all of them where I worked and they still could not sync up the password updates. IT is just a lot to consider….
    Sonya Lenzo

  • Such a difficult question when kids are involved…people need to do whats best for their family…

    Sales Expert

  • I never considered the potential for confusion on the alternatives of this matter. (I, of course, have kept my maiden name LOL)

  • This definitely sounds like a question that is best answered by the person and not their friends or family.

    Yours In Health!

    G.E. Moon II
    What Is Your Energy Level?

  • Dan

    great points to consider before one makes a major decision like changing their last name.

  • Annie Born

    What excellent advice for divorced mums!
    Looking forward to tomorrow!

  • A big decision indeed! I think it also depends on how isolated the divorcee wants to be from their ex.

    Mark Hogan

  • Which service do you recommend to submit the dating profile when she is reading to date again?
    Hanks
    Lapiceros Cross Peru

  • Peter Tamosaitis

    Big decision but most will make the right choice dependng in their own circumstances.

  • Eva Palmer

    Hi April,
    In the Spanish culture we don’t have that choice to make because not only our surname name never changes but we also have both our father’s and our mother’s first surname. I can’t even imagine changing any of them. I would feel that part of my identity is chaging…
    Those questions that you asked are all very good to consider if you were having such a difficult decission to make ( at least for me it would be!)

    Aprende a Vivir en Positivo

  • THe name change choice can/may affect the children …

    Lyle – The Sales Wizard
    I changed appearance of site,
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  • Jc MacKenzie

    A professionally written dating profile. April, that’s a fantastic idea. Well done!
    Be Well.
    Jc

  • A name change seems so simple but there could be so many ramifications for changing. Great questions to get people thinking about the pros and cons.

    Yours In Health!

    Dr. Wendy
    Kettlebells and You

  • Those are excellent questions for single moms to ask yourself after your divorce when trying to decide, they’ll certainly help!

    EcoFriendlyMatters @ EcoFriendlyLink
    CFL light bulbs are more expensive – why?

  • Margarita @ Body Language Decoding

    April,
    this is a problem with changing names. You feel like loosing your identiry. After my divorce I took back my maiden name. When I renarried I kept it and added my second husband name. Now I have 2 last names. In my country we often do that. Also we do not have middle name.
    Great point!

  • Shane Aric

    That’s Right… that is what my own mother did. I was 8 by the time she got around to doing it… and I wanted to change my name too.

    That didn’t come to pass.

  • Michael D Walker

    There’s a lot to consider before changing back to a maiden name. The first thing that comes to mind for me is all the banking, online accounts, and the dreaded DMV (driver’s license, car registration, etc).

    Michael
    Thorne Smith Birthday Present

  • I always kept my “maiden” name, never changed it. It’s never made sense to me to change.

    Cherie Miranda
    Meditation for Insomnia

  • ODU

    Interesting question. I’m actually a child from a marriage that broke up – my mother didn’t change back to her maiden name (which would have saved me years of abuse at school). I don’t think these is a right or wrong answer – but I guess it could help you move on???

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