Give value to yourself and your attractiveness and you are well on your way to attracting love.
Since “The Secret” came out a few years back, the principle of “The Law of Attraction” has been receiving a lot of attention both in written books and around the blogosphere, including twitter. There are discussions about whether it is accurate or not. Now the idea of just program your mind and then walk away, like magic your brain will manifest does not hold water. To purport that lacks integrity.
What does work in “The Law of Attraction” is that what we feed into our brain with images, the television we watch, the movies we view, the magazines we read, the books we ingest – these all shape our belief system and our expectations. Our brain is so fascinating and our world is so vast that what we train our brain to filter and perceive is what it will see. Often the Single-Never-Marrieds struggle more to attract and create a marriage relationship because of something stopping them in their belief system. (That’s where working with a solid dating coach can be highly advantageous to you.)
One attribute which is important to practice in attracting love, being an attractive person, and developing good relationship habits is to practice the idea of giving yourself value. You can even make that into a mantra or an affirmation. If you are Christian and don’t feel comfortable with that label, consider it part of your prayer life and acknowledge how God has given you value through Jesus Christ, you have accepted him as your Savior, so you now give yourself value, too.
Giving yourself value is to value yourself, your needs, and your wants. When you do so, this is not in an angry or arrogant energy which is always a repulsing energy to it. Literally. Think of magnetic fields.
Giving yourself value manifests itself in how you treat yourself and your environment. Your grooming becomes wonderful. You look and smell great. This is important twofold.
Being Attracted to Good Looking People Is Scientific
First, scientific studies show that people are attracted to good looking people. No surprise there pretty much. However, it is not all about vanity. It is actually about good health. We are biologically wired to be attracted to good looking people because the good looks are a reflection of good health. Good health in a mate means to our biology that that person’s genes would be a good selection creating offspring together, whether or not you personally want to procreate or not.
Be Congruent
Secondly, you need to be congruent. Your good grooming combined with an attractive car (both the model and how you upkeep it) and home environment are all part of what you communicate in your non-conscious body language.
Your online dating profile might describe yourself as financially stable. However if your living room is a mess when you invite her up to your place for a drink at the end of your date, she might find you as much of a hunk as Brad Pitt, but she read the state of your apartment as a contradiction to what you put in your profile.
Once she starts to think that there are contradictions, she may never actually think it concretely enough to voice it. But she will feel turned off and may not really even know why. The result will simply be, “I was attracted to him at first, but it didn’t last.” She may not be able to put her finger on it.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert
ATTRACTING LOVE: Program Your Mind to Attract Love, Activate Your LOA Law of Attraction
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April Braswell Dating Expert attracting love cd program
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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
How does Ms. Braswell define “attractiveness”?
How does Ms. Braswell define “an attractive car”?
I have overlooked Ms. Braswell’s sniping of never married’s. Ms. Braswell suggestion that never marrieds, struggle to find a marriage partner because of thier belief system is stupid. In addition good grooming should be a daily habit, not something that adds value to one’s attractiveness. I have met many women who were physically attractive, but when they open their mouth, it was a whole another story. I would not agree totally with good looks=good health (just take a look at Hollywood celebs).
Ms. Braswell;
I have been reading your stuff and you certainly know how to offend never married individuals. I am 38, never married, no children. I understand that to some, this is ‘not attractive’ but so is “divorced” because “person wasn’t happy”. In dating blogdom, there is an argument out there that states “it’s better to be divorced, than never married because it shows that one can love someone/be loved”.
Personally, I have read your stuff. After reading your articles, I have to question why you give the advice you do. I get the impression that you manipulate and prey on the lonely to make a quick buck. As for me, well I am single, the men in Toronto are more interested in me being their “booty call” “when they feel like it..call me” or be “their mistress”. What I want is a mature, healthy, relationship. Something that you do not speak of in your articles.
In short, your not a dating coach, more like a capilist.
Hi Tara and Hezron,
Thank you for stopping by my dating and relationships blog. Certainly my summarizing the research of the past 30 years on belief systems is not meant as a “snipe” to the Single Never Marrieds. I appreciate your coming by and commenting at my blog.
April Braswell
Hi Tara,
Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. I reread my blog post, and I am not seeing where you could have read that I said that being single, “‘never married, no children. I understand that to some, this is ‘not attractive’ .” Did I miss something?
April Braswell
Hi Hezron,
Thanks for stopping by my dating and relationships blog and commenting. You and Tara might want to email each other and meet F2F. I see you two are close in age, both single-never-married without children, desiring a relationship, in the Toronto area and it looks like you two frequent the same cyber cafe with the same IP address. Her email is in her post so you can send her a note.
April
Hi April
Toronto, Ontario is a two hour drive (more during rush hour in Toronto). from where I live. London, Ontario. I appreciate the heads up but I do not want to invest in a long-term dating situation.
..that should say “long-distance dating situation”
April,
Where do you get off suggesting I want to date? Nowhere in my statements did I say that I desire a partner.
Thank for suggesting I should meet Hezron. As Hezron stated, it is too far away.
Hi Tara,
Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. I must have misunderstood your prior comment then.
April
Whoa! You seem to have touched a nerve…where is JJ when you need some comic relief?
Anthony
Hi April, I like how this starts with me and how I feel about myself for dating. Thank you.
Hi April, I like how you put that. That how people treat me, it’s up to me. I give myself value.
I have heard that love starts with you. This sounds good to me.
Appreciating yourself first is just the way to go.
Hi April, I like the idea of attracting love. Being an attractive women not pursuing men
Too many women don’t value themselves appropriately. Thanks for the reminders April
Might youse players have Flickr as well as a twit follower fan blog? We have searched for 1 on facebook.com and twit follower but yet couldn’t discover one of them. I’d desire to turn into a admirer April! Your dating tips are great. TU
I feel like so many women don’t love themselves first, that they’re looking for that from a boyfriend. It starts with you.
I like the idea that I give myself value first before my date can possibly do that. Love ourselves first fully.
Your relationship with yourself is where it starts.
thanks amigo! great post! And excellent reminder to start with me
I like the idea of validating myself first and not looking to others for all of that. great point April. thank you.
Thanks, nice post. Keep up the good work April
Hi April it does start with me. thanks for the reminder
Girls with confidence are very hot to me.
Getting the hang of really giving yourself love first really seems so important before you can expect someone else to love you too. Love yourself first baby!
I’ve heard from psychologists on tv that before someone else loves us we need to value ourself first or no one else will love us.