Dating Expert Answers – Dating Advise for Single Women, How to Talk to Guys in a Coffee Shop

One of the questions I receive often is from single guys and single girls asking for tips and suggestions for how to talk to other cute singles whom they meet by happenstance as they go through their daily lives.  “April, I’m at a coffee shop and I see a cute guy studying at another table, how do I talk to him?”

Tactics for guys are a bit different than it is for women.  Single women can leverage more visuals an catch a guy’s attention visually more than single men can with women.  While women do want a man to groom well and look good, scientific studies demonstrate that men are much more highly visually stimulated.  So women in a manner, have quite an easy time of getting a man’s attention.

The other thing is, the more that you incorporate this behavior into your daily practice, the better.  That way, if you just practice getting and being comfortable naturally flirting then when it is really important and you someone whom you’d really like to impress, you are already very smooth, polished, and poised with your flirting.

Ok, just remember this is all practice.

Flirting is just a fun mutual compliment that may lead to a date or it leads nowhere. But it what it does do is it leaves everyone feeling a wee bit sexier and confident about themselves and about their ability to interact well with the opposite sex.

OK.   As I mentioned, men are highly visually stimulated.  So while you don’t have to always dress your super model best every day.  However whenever you go out into public to hang out for awhile, to do any shopping or eating, start to express your wonderful self-confidence and your marvelous self-esteem by dressing in a cute and attractive manner.  Do get in the daily habit of wearing at least a little make up.

You might be thinking, “Why do I have to do that?  I’m just dashing into the store for a few minutes.” Well, it really is true. When you least expect it like just when you are dashing into the dry cleaners you can actually meet the great love of your life whom you’ll marry.  You want that you look your best when you first meet.

So what are some things you can do when you are in-person like that at a coffee shop?

Get Up and Move Around

Make a point of getting up and passing him repeatedly.  You can use any excuse available to you.  Get up and walk across the room in front of his field of vision -  to get a napkin, get a cup of water, get a stirrer for your coffee, to ask the coffee team a question. ANYTHING.  Back and forth, back and forth until you are sure he has at least noticed you by looking up at you a few times.

Start Conversation

To start a convo: drop your napkin. Ask him to pass you something. Ask to borrow a pen from him. ANYTHING to start a sentence exchange with him. Second sentence make some kind of open ended question about whatever book he has with him for his studies. Or his computer bag. Whatever he has with him, ask him about it.

This gives you 3 -5 sentences which you can exchange with him. When he responds warmly, you can then interject a safe comment about the  coffee shop.

See? You can start some conversations and simply start flirting. If things go well, invite yourself to sit with him and study for a few minutes. If he just seems polite, thank him for the pen, and go back to your table. No harm no foul. Remember, you’re just practicing, right? Smile and enjoy your coffee to yourself.

You can even practice doing this daily with any guy you see at the coffee shop so you feel confident doing this. That way when Mr. Cutie does  show up, you are then completely comfortable and confident interacting with him.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell
Dating and Relationship Expert

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