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Dating Coach Women After 40 | Courtship and Relationship Advice

Dating Expert Advice for Women to Meet More Single Guys Monday Morning

Dating Expert Advice for Women to Meet More Single Guys Monday Morning

Thanks for stopping by my dating advice and tips blog.  Sometimes I blog specifically for singles and sometimes I wrap in some relationship success advice which is relevant for both married folks and singles.  Today’s dating tip is targeted for singles.  However, an attribute of happily married couples enjoying a lifetime of love is to inject elements of “newness” into their relationship periodically over time.  Part of that newness is to include meeting new people and weaving them into your lives.

Successful Singles Dating Is a Numbers Game

Not on a crass level of just churning through meeting people, but rather reframing your mind, teaching and programing your mind to see all the wonderful people who surround you each day, it is a numbers game to meet and date other singles, court, and get married.

That being said, take a piece of paper and write down Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday as the left hand column down the page.  Now, next to each day, write a number.  Write the number of people you encountered and spoke to.  All it had to be was a smile and “Hello, nice day.” or “Hello, beautiful weather,” even while you were passing them walking at the park.  How many people did you meet?  Write that in your comment here at my blog.  Give me the total number of people you met last week.

Successful Singles Implement, Meet New People and Go on Great Dates

You want to aim for a minimum of 5 people a day which totals to 35 people in a week.  No, it doesn’t always have to be members of the opposite sex, although that would be cool.  My clients ramp up to meeting 50 people of the opposite gender each week minimum.  There’s a reason they couple up, become engaged and marry.  Having a coach in dating like having a coach in athletics makes a difference for the implementation, direction, and results.

Start thinking about what you can do where you like to meet more new people each day.

In my direct sales days in the software empire of technology center, Silicon Valley, an attribute of the most successful top-selling sales people was we created and plotted out our selling plan for the week in advance of the week.  It is Sunday.  Don’t worry that I’m going to suggest you race out tonight and try to throw yourself into a tizzy of undirected non-strategic meeting people activity.  Relax.  Sip a cup of tea, kick back and make a plan for just Monday to start your creative engines going.

What can you do Monday morning to meet 5 new people?  You can do your numbers before you even get to the office.  If you normally are a good frugal steward of your dollars or euros and brew your own coffee at home, instead on Monday mornings you now going forward purchase just a small cup of coffee at a coffee shop.  Each Monday, go to a different coffee shop.  Vary it.  Both vary the location and vary the chain.  Yes, Peets coffee drinkers here in the States have a strong opinion and preference for Peets over Starbucks.  So you will definitely meet a different coffee “Tribe” as J-P Micek and Deb Micek, authors of Online Persuasion describe the communities we identify ourselves with.  You want to be sure to stretch yourself a bit.  You don’t have to go do bizarre activities you loathe.  I’m not suggesting that.  I am however suggesting you stretch yourself to do activities which are 5-15 degree stretch from what you normally do now and to do so in slightly different places and venues than you normally do now.  And to do so at slightly different times than you do presently.

If precisely what you are doing now were working, you wouldn’t still be single, right?  So, stretch yourself.  You will also receive the wonderful benefit of the life habit of stretching yourself.  This stimulates your brain and your body for life.

At the Door

Back to your coffee.  When you enter the door, hold it for someone else or someone holds it for you.  Of course you utter while smiling and making eye contact, “You’re welcome,” or, “Thank you.” Check.  That was your first person.  By the way, the smile and eye contact is essential.  Eye contact makes for contact and connection without actually touching the person.  Our modern 21st century lives are so bereft of real human contact while we bustle about busily that you stand out in people’s minds when you actually pause even for a few moments to genuinely connect with them by making eye contact with them.  Hold their eyes for a moment.  Now go on in.

While On Line

I’m hoping there is a line.  Chat up the person in front of you and behind you.  Something as simple as, “I don’t normally come here.  Is this chain good?  How do you like them?” 2 people, maybe 3.  Check.

At the Counter

When you order, be gracious, say hello, “How are you today?  Beautiful weather we’re having,” to your wait person.  You are the Queen of England or the Dali Lama – gracious to all and acknowledging them.  Check.  That’s another.

At the Condiment Counter

Over at the condiment counter.  “Oh, would you please pass me the half and half?  Thank you.” Smile.  Eye contact.  Check.  Another person.  Stir stir.  Take your time.  Don’t rush.  Another person, male, female, it doesn’t matter for now, walks up.  “Would you please pass me a napkin?  Thank you.” Warm smile with eye contact.  Check.

That was actually 6 – 7 people if you were at a busy coffee shop.  So you see, in 15 minutes at the right location, armed with the right attitude and mind set of wanting to see and meet other wonderful new people each day, you can easily meet at least 5 new people before arriving at work.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

About the author: April Braswell is an internationally recognized Dating and Relationship Expert. She coaches single men and women to attract and find the best life partner for them. April brings cutting edge behavioral research to singles to empower them for finding quality mates. Connect with April at Google+: plus.google.com/+AprilBraswell/

34 comments… add one

  • So you pretty much make it impossible for some one NOT to meet anyone! :-)
    Great tips that makes sense and are “doable”. If I were single I think I could actually find a date!
    Jen Battaglino

  • Great tip as usual April. What get’s measured will improve. Whether your trying to make more sales calls, or meeting new people; start by measuring.

    Tim Van Milligan

  • Michelle Mason

    Thanks for the kick in the butt. My number for last week is probably close to zero. It will be a major change for me to try to talk to the people around me, and even more so to actually go to places where there are people to talk to. But lately I have been feeling a bit more motivated in this area, so this is a good challenge for me.
    Do you have any suggestions for conversing with people beyond the first few minutes? I can handle the intial questions about jobs, hobbies, etc. But I am terrible after that point – so for example, on a date, I would run out of things to say about 15 minutes in. Makes for a short date. =-)
    Michelle

  • Shane Kester

    When I was in high school I was fairly popular but I was shy when it came to girls. I mean, I could talk to them, make them laugh and have a great time with them but ask one out on a date? 99.9 % of the girls were definitely out of my league. When I went to university I found out that a lot of pretty girls weren’t being asked out. I found out that most of the guys felt intimidated by them. It dawned on me like a ton of bricks. We’re all relatively the same. The difference is that some guys “think” they can ask out anyone they want while others “think” they can’t. I decided that I was going to be the guy that “thought” he could. After that everyone thought I was that cool confident guy. Little did they, know I was just like them.

    P.S. I was always the guy who asked several wall flowers to dance too. Why? I’ll tell you. I’ll never forget my first high school stomp (no I wasn’t alive in the 50’s) when I was standing there with my crowd of nervous freshmen buddies trying look cool while our palms were so cold a sweaty that people would have thought we’d been out throwing snowballs if it hadn’t been so warm out, when suddenly out of the nerve racking blue, the most gorgeous girl with a lovely long blond pony tail asked me to dance. I just prayed that I only felt like my friends looked at that moment because we all almost fell over dead. What a boost of confidence, I moved up a couple of notches from believing I had leprosy to realizing that apparently I was keeping it covered well. Ah Jodi, I would have asked you out in high school if I had only known then that my fear of suddenly bursting into flames was mostly unfounded.

    Shane Kester
    Hypnosis Can Change Your Life

  • You sure do have a good system for meeting new people without
    having to stretch too far out of your comfort zone. No wonder you’re so
    successful with your dating advice!

    Michael

    The Success Secrets

  • April, What I truly LOVE about your advice is that it is so PRACTICAL. and yet it works. People can say, Oh that is so doable. They can actually see themselves doing it. Great post.
    Sonya Lenzo

  • These are great tips for everyone, not just for romantic relationships but for people who just want to be friends. It is important to remember that relationships take energy and we only have so much so…while it’s important to meet as many people as possible it is just as important to qualify and eliminate those that require too much energy.

    Wow, that was one long sentence.

    Steve Chambers
    Body Language Expert

  • Trisha Chambers

    Eye contact, eye contact, and more eye contact! Very, very good post my dear!

  • These are all great, SIMPLE, tips. I keep telling my girlfriend that she is never going to meet men to date if all she ever does is go to gay bars (while a lot of fun and full of great people, most are not into the female gender) with her friend.

    I am emailing her a link to this ASAP!

    Sabrina Peterson, NASM CPT,CES
    Fat Burning Home Workouts

  • This is good because when I am out searching for someone to date (not if I want to give up 36 years) or just to get to know people that I will be able to network with these are some great ideas and ways to do it

  • Robert Kaufer

    Great proactive advice, it sounds like this really is the key.

    Bob

  • Eileen O'Neill

    Great suggestion! Coffee bars do have a lot of people…. And you are right, just a smile and a kind word can make someone’s day. And if the person uses public transport, he/she can always say hi to the driver. The elevator/lift provides another wonderful opportunity to greet lots of folks, don’t you think so?

    Eileen O’Neill

  • Rob Northrup

    such practical timeless tips. engage others at every opportunity in a friendly caring way and you will create more relationships.

    Seize the Day,
    Rob

    Simple Family Survival Tips For Disasters and Emergencies

  • Wow April! This is excellent advice for personal and professional relationships! I know I typically meet over 50 new people a week in professional interaction not counting social! Once you get in the habit of talking with people it is easy find very rewarding ones!

    Mark
    Direct Selling Advice, Tips, Skills & Techniques

  • I agree singles dating is a numbers game. Truth be told I don’t even notice half the people I run into during the day. Great advice as all ways.

    Mike
    http://www.ColumbiaSafetyProducts.com/blog

  • Hi April, Deb and I say from Tribeland, the eyes say a thousand words 😉

  • Peggy Larson

    “Our modern 21st century lives are so bereft of real human contact while we bustle about busily that you stand out in people’s minds when you actually pause even for a few moments to genuinely connect with them by making eye contact with them.”

    This could not be more true! Good advice for dating and meeting people but it’s great advice for everyday also. Could make the world a much nicer place!

    Peggy Larson

  • Whoa, 6-7 people in 15 minutes in one coffee shop!!!! There just isn’t any excuse not to meet people is there? It really is a numbers game, isn’t it? My husband recently told me about a news story that he read which said that they still prefer male babies in China so they are aborting female fetuses. The article said by 2020 there will be approximately 30 million more males than females of marriageable age. Talk about a numbers game! Get ready April – you might be able to cash in by helping those 30 million guys find dates!!!

    Lisa McLellan
    Babysitting Services, Nanny Services, and Nanny agencies

  • Be more open and communicate as much a possible. Your amazing April.

    David Escalante
    Bay Area Roofing San Francisco CA

  • Hi J-P! My love to you and your darling Mrs, THE Maven of the TWITTER Tribe, @CoachDeb!

  • “…..Chat up the person in front of you and behind you. Something as simple as, “I don’t normally come here. Is this chain good? How do you like them?” ”
    I can imagine myself using this practical tip.
    Thanks

    Hui Hui
    http://chiahuihui.com/

  • Mesha Casper

    Doc;)Braswell Love
    These facts are great. April as you may well have noticed, I am married to a very great man. But: ” I apologize for my grammar btw” Anyway I was thinking I would be so afraid to date whether at my age or for the fact that if I were in that posistion; I would also once again need your grief recovery system. Only if :) I frequently needed your relationship advice that’ would be. My piont is April. I never thought how scary that would be until your article. Woth your compassion, caring and genuine knowledge that everyone needs at that point would call on no greater person than someone as great, tactful, inspirational and sly as you!!
    Sincerely,
    Mesha

  • Dewayne Chriswell

    Thanks for the advice April. The day always starts off better with a little interpersonal communication before jumping knee-deep in the daily hamster grist mill.

    http://dewaynechriswell.com

  • Chere Connerley

    Seriously! April, you completed certain nice points there for singles. I did a search on the issue and found mainly single folks will agree with your blog. This site may be the very best I have seen in a very long time. Your post offers excellent content. I’ve been browsing everywhere for info about this type of stuff. I looked almost everywhere, I looked in Bing, and I didn’t find your publish right up until now. Honestly, you undoubtedly present wonderful articles, really it is useful. I’ll be returning here in the near future. You need to keep the website updated, it really is excellent.

  • Sylvia Kubler

    what a wonderful way to start blogging for singles, April

  • Cynthia

    Is there any way i can make RSSOwl use plugins (the ones already installed in my Firefox) and the usual right-click menu with your dating blog?

  • Cheryl

    Well done April! I really enjoyed reading through your dating articles as always because of its wonderful concepts and unique views.

  • Stan Sumers

    I’ve read about it for months that you can meet singles like that, April. laugh out loud.

  • Romeo Sarro

    I just added this page to my favorites April. Thanks for all your dating tips. I enjoy reading your posts. Tyvm!

  • Alberta Shimasaki

    I think I can even go do these sort of singles tips any day when I have the time.

  • Carole

    Hi April, I ran across your dating blog when a girlfriend suggested it to me. She thinks you have a million ideas for meeting men. I like this suggestion.

  • Siobahn O'Neil

    I’m just not great early morning to meet hot guys… I need my cup of coffee first!

  • Anita Wheeler

    Hi April, now that I’m in the orange county too, there are so many white men here. What am I to do to meet and date other ethnic group men? I don’t know what the story is here. What do you suggest for single women like me?

  • Hi Shane, oh we learn so much about dating and mate selection from the high school dance social example. I just found out via Facebook that my 9th grade crush had a crush on me. And while I was hoping he’d ask me to dance and on a date, he was just too intimidated by how cute and smart I was. We are all such nervous singles as teenagers. Happy Dating and Relationships, April

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