Online dating sites are a subset of the Social Media/Social Networking sites. They are specific subgroup of the Web 2.0 sites. I know, I know. My Silicon Valley Internet roots are showing. I was an early adopter with some of the sites, and an early adopter for my age group at some others. Well a lot of the sites keep adding features or changing the look and feel (aka GUI – Graphical User Interface) and focus. So what might have been your favorite application and game to play at one site becomes nearly a hidden feature in 2 weeks time, much to your frustration.
The Millenials have been dealing all of this frankly since most of them were in Middle School. But that also means that the very singles whom they are bonding and mating with right now quite often have seen extraordinarily personal details of their personal lives from over several years. Additionally, the Millenials are a dating generation where often there are a lot of opposite sex friendships. So putting up romantic boundaries to keep more of your personal life mysterious to a Prospective Date, well, it’s too late. They been a secondary level friend for a couple of years and have seen your 8th grade graduation photo and your Junior Prom dress for a couple of years now.
And now you’re all out on Facebook. You’re Friends. And Facebook added, awhile ago now, an Instant Messenger Feature. Whenever you are online, it immediately shows to all your FB Buddies that YOU are online. There is no chance to duck or appear mysterious or busy. It’s like broadcasting when you wipe your nose with a tissue. Just the scrutiny is a BIT close.
What can you do?
To IM or NOT to IM, that is the question…..
IMing is fine when you sort of get caught being online. Be brief. “Gotta dash!” And get offline quickly. You want to aim for actual dates in person to gauge chemistry and flirt and not do faux dates via Instant Messenger.
Additionally, there have been studies done that when singles start instant messenging each other that the IM exchange segues to cybersex within, mmm, nano-seconds. Not to be a prude whatsoever, just, you now really cannot gauge how interested you are actually in this person when you are doing cyber sex via IM.
If you can skirt IM completely, all the better. However, the Millenial generation texts like crazy and it is totally totally normal for them. They meet and are exchanging facebook friends contact information and phone numbers so they can text each other just about as soon as they meet.
You still need to establish connecting communication which is best done, yes, in person, where you can flirt and banter and display open body language or closed body language and Pan for Gold with your Conversation Skills.
Happy Dating and Relationships,