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Dating Expert 3 Winning First Date Tips for Guys

A number of young men and guys who do not go on a lot of dates on frequent basis ask me as a dating expert for first date success tips and advice.  That way once they have finagled a first date with a wonderful woman and great gal, they are empowered to make the most of their date.  Look, you took the risk of approaching her, right?  You asked her out on a date, yes?  Well, now what?  What are a few things you can say and do to make your first date a success and win the opportunity to ask her onto a second date?  What are the first date tips you are looking for?

First Date Tip #1: Look Out for Her Safety

When you two have met via an online dating site, to keep both of your safety in mind, especially her physical safety, do suggest to meet in a public location.  When you ask her out on the first meeting date, aim to meet near her so she feels safe.  When you suggest meeting near her, she feels safe and cared for, winning you masculinity points with her.

First Date Tip #2: Have a Plan and Be Flexible

Women and girls really do like a man to have a plan for the date when he asks her out.  After she has said yes to meeting you for the first date, you can then ask what kind of food she likes:  Chinese, Italian, or Thai.  While she wants you to have a plan, yes, modern women do like to have input and to be considered.  This displays your flexibility and ability to include and consider others.  Flexibility and consideration are wonderful relationship success skills.  Then you can research online where you then suggest you two meet.

First Date Tip #3: Be Interested without Being Too Aggressive

When you two do meet, be interested and attentive to her and her interests.  First dates are a dialogue.  Certainly, you do want to tell her about what you want.  When you tell a girl about what you want, your interest, and what you do, you create a picture of what you two would share while dating.  However, do ask her questions, too.  After you make statements about some of your hobbies, ask her if she enjoys some of those activities, too.  Then listen.  Additionally, ask her inquiring questions about her interests.  Think of your conversation as being a gentle tennis game rally of lobbing the ball back and forth.  As you ask her questions, you want to avoid being super aggressive.  It’s conversation, not a deposition.

By looking out for her safety, having a flexible plan, and being interested in her you demonstrate what a great guy you are.  As you do that, you can smoothly ask her out on a second date and expect her “Yes,” response.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell
Dating and Relationship Expert

{ 21 comments… add one }
  • Jennifer Battaglino May 14, 2010, 7:07 PM

    You hit it right on the head… Well sometimes you need to hit the man over the head too. Basically if you are considerate then you are in the home stretch. Don’t book the first date at the lounge of the hotel lobby…
    People need to listent o you! 🙂

    Jen B
    The Harwood Group – Tinnitus, Chronic Illness, Fears, and Anxiety

  • Rob Northrup May 15, 2010, 4:18 AM

    This is great advice for first dates.

    Since the main purpose is to find out if you two are interested enough in each other to try for a second date, you should pick someplace not too loud and where you are familiar with so you will be comfortable. That will come across.

    Rob

  • Tim Van Milligan May 15, 2010, 5:49 AM

    I’d agree with you, especially since you know this stuff first hand, being a woman and all. A safe, but boring first date would be movie and dinner. That was my standard operating procedure. In hindsight, that is pretty boring and you don’t learn much about your date because you’re not talking during the movie.

    Tim Van Milligan, helping you Make Money Online, God’s Way!

  • Eileen O'Neill May 15, 2010, 1:08 PM

    Sounds like great advice! Safety, consideration, flexibility and pleasant, interesting conversations where you get greater insights into the unique human you are with…

    Eileen

  • Peggy Larson May 16, 2010, 9:50 AM

    Excellent advice, April! A woman appreciates and likes a man who has a plan but also takes her input into consideration. That way, he’s not overbearing yet not spineless either.

    Peggy Larson

  • Sonya Lenzo May 16, 2010, 10:02 AM

    April, You have compared dating and business before, so let me stretch the analogy a bit…if there is rapport at first meeting, it will be a “go” as long as no “red flags” are raised. And what you are suggesting helps to eliminated red flags. Good advice!
    Sonya Lenzo

  • Scott Sylvan Bell May 16, 2010, 10:19 AM

    April, thanks for an article that hits home, but it goes both ways for women to listen also. I liked your idea of giving 3 options for what to eat. I have some food allergies and that keeps me from having to eat food that I would later regret.
    Thanks
    Scott Sylvan Bell
    Now go implement!

  • Lisa McLellan May 16, 2010, 11:21 AM

    You are so right on here! These are exactly the things I would be looking for if I were dating. I like the part about watching out for her safety. When I think about wanting a partner to take care of me, I’m not thinking financially, I’m thinking just what you said – I want someone concerned with my safety and someone who would protect me.

    Have a plan and be flexible – another excellent tip! I always hated when guys asked me what I wanted to do when I was in the dating scene. I know they were trying to be nice, but I had no idea what their budget was like so I never wanted to ask to do something that they either couldn’t afford and now had to embarrass themselves and me by telling me that, or they’d just do it because I said I wanted to and the whole time they’d be stressed out thinking how much it was costing them. I am talking about way back when I was 18-21 because then I met my husband at 21. So maybe it would be different now. I probably wouldn’t be afraid to say I’d like to get something to eat because hopefully a guy in his 40’s could afford that no problem. But back then we were all in college or had little jobs so I didn’t expect anyone to have much money.

    Lisa McLellan
    Babysitting Services, Nanny Services, and Nanny agencies

  • Hezron May 16, 2010, 2:45 PM

    Try not to be the “nice guy”(as in needy, spineless men) that women DO NOT want. Works better that way

  • bryan May 16, 2010, 7:17 PM

    The interview vs aggressive is sometimes difficult for men to get..I have many friend who know that women like to talk..so they keep asking them question after question..and then the women thinks they guys don’t have any thoughts of their own…of course I tell them to sign up for this blog…

  • Michelle Mason May 16, 2010, 10:09 PM

    This is nice advice. I know safety would be big in my mind, meeting someone online. Although first dates can feel a bit awkward, I have more trouble beyond that initial conversation – after you have talked about your jobs, hobbies, etc. Do you have any advice for that? =-)

    Michelle

  • Mike Casey May 17, 2010, 11:28 AM

    Hi April, your dating tips are right on target. From experience this is great advice. The traditional dinner approach is the best way or the mall… this gives you time to get to know everything about the person. Looking out for their safety shows that you really care and are not after the wrong things. At the same time though if it is a good match then you will never run out of things to talk about.

    Mike Casey
    http://www.stemcelltherapyresearch.com

  • Michael D Walker May 18, 2010, 1:28 PM

    Good advice as always!

    I tend to skip the 2nd date & just ask a woman out on a third date. Completely eliminates all the pressure of a 2nd date. 🙂

    Michael
    The Success Secrets

  • michael c May 18, 2010, 6:15 PM

    Good advice April.

    There’s always so much pressure on the first date – eahc of us has out own expectations.

    i really enjoy getting to know someone and seeing how we can weave each others stories together.

    sometimes, I have had my digital camera with me and I have a lot of pictures in there of my life and they like to see it.

    Michael

  • Mark May 19, 2010, 4:05 PM

    The first date can be tense for someone not accustom to dating. I love the simplicity of your advice!

    Mark
    Direct Selling Advice, Leveraging Relationships for Long-term Profit

  • Hezron May 20, 2010, 4:45 PM

    In your article, you state 3 dating tips, yet, you repeat First date tip. Should it read First date tip, second date tip, third date tip? Just want you to come across as professional just like in dating ads?

  • Keri Eagan May 21, 2010, 5:39 PM

    Hi April,

    Yes those three are great tips. So true about the masculinity points in relation to saftey! I love that feeling of having someone look out for me – makes a welcome change for sure.

    Blessings,
    K.

  • Stefanie P August 19, 2010, 6:40 PM

    Select dress for your flirting and dating, must be selected based on personal qualities, especially the dating dresses. Great dating tips, April. thank you -SLady

  • Patricia Tripplett December 16, 2010, 7:36 PM

    First class point April. I wish more single guys would read this. I guess that’s why they’re not going on second dates much.

  • Franklin Prado December 16, 2010, 10:05 PM

    These first date tips sure would help to read before we go dates.

  • Discover Covert Hypnotist April 21, 2011, 7:06 PM

    Not sure about your article. It seems to be ok, but something is not right

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