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Dating Advice for Women: How do I ask him for his number? Dating Questions Answered

Dating Advice for Women:  How do I ask him for his number?  Dating Questions Answered

In my email bag this week, one young woman asked, “April, there’s this guy who I met online.  I want to meet him.  And he wants to meet me.  After we meet, how should I ask him for his phone number?  I don’t want to appear desperate or anything.  Because I’m not.”

What a great question.  Indeed, the whole phone number exchange etiquette still has some protocol even in the 21st century.

Millenial Dating Meeting for First Date Internet Dating Online Dating

Young Woman Smiling at Young Man

A lot of single women really prefer it when a man asks them for their phone number first.  We see this as a sign of his masculine interest in us and a demonstration of his masculine pursuit.  It really is true, especially of men under 50 years old or so that they are hormonally wired and programmed to be aggressive and pursue women.


When men and women first meet in-person, the man who is interested in a woman always does introduce himself and asks her for her phone number.  Frankly, if he doesn’t ask you for your phone number when that is how you two have first met, he’s not that interested in you.

However, now that it’s the 21st century and as Match.com’s recent research shows, 1 in 5 relationship starts online.  You two “meet” online.


So many of the romantic body language demonstrations of interest are a bit different.


Additionally many single guys and single women under the age of 30 years old or so are tremendously used to texting.  And texting breeds exchange of very short text messages.  It does not mimic real in-person conversations.  It can be quite brief and border on being terse.


Often 1 person texts a phrase, thought, or sentence, and doesn’t get a reply for hours.  Sometimes texting conversations can be misunderstood.  It’s great for quick exchange of information, but texting is not conducive for the communication necessary for relationship building.

When you two have met online, it is best to exchange phone numbers, often a personal cell phone number, prior to meeting F2F.  You want to exchange phone numbers because things can happen before you meet.

There’s an accident on the freeway and you’re going to be 10 minutes late.  You’re there are the location but for some reason you two are not seeing each other.  You’re at the front entrance, he’s at the back entrance.  Having each others’ cell numbers covers you.

Again, here is where women prefer that the man ask for her cell number first.  However, if you two have agreed to a first meeting date and are working out the logistics and he still has not yet asked you for your phone number, ask him for his.  Just use a simple phrase inserted in your email exchange, “Oh, and what’s your phone number?”

Wait until he gives you his phone number and then reply with yours.

That’s one simple and easy way to exchange phone numbers.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell
Dating and Relationship Expert

Boomer Dating Articles and Resources

{ 45 comments… add one }
  • Harlan July 26, 2010, 11:44 AM

    Hi April, thanks. this really helps when it comes to really talking up a girl – HMan

  • Lester in Kenya July 28, 2010, 9:53 PM

    The phone number I received 1 st when I was not very old. Asking for phone number is required in dating. Thanks April

  • Michael D Walker July 29, 2010, 9:49 PM

    As usual, solid advice, April!

    Took me a moment to figure out what F2F means (face to face) 🙂
    From a guy’s perspective, I can offer that it’s not hard to forget to ask for a phone number when you’ve met online. So, if a woman were to ask for my number in case something came up before the date, that is a very low pressure way to get the phone number.

    The Success Secrets

  • Hezron August 1, 2010, 3:35 PM

    The way I see it, women want men to give them their number to see if it WORTH’s the woman’s time….

    If a woman wants something….ASK FOR HIS NUMBER. Take some initiative, single women. They can’t simply sit there hoping “prince charming” lands in their lap….

  • Anthony August 1, 2010, 7:28 PM

    Just ask baby! No need for nerves or fanfare! It’s just that simple! Especially if there are plans made because as Dating Expert April said, it is necessary in case something comes up.


  • sandy August 2, 2010, 1:59 PM

    April, thank you for the encoragement to talk to guys

  • koster August 4, 2010, 3:48 PM

    I would like to thank you for your dating site and advice, April Is finding love online like this possible?

  • Julia G. August 19, 2010, 1:31 AM

    Nice post! But what men want women to know- Julia G

  • Skyee August 19, 2010, 6:32 PM

    Certainly dressing in a feminine manner and talking to a guy like that like a girl must really help for his giving his phone number and asking you out on a date. A cute way to dress with style is to wear a short skirt, white fabric gives the feeling of noble princess, waist belt is a fine finishing touch. This white dress is that it asked for the body is very low.

  • Desiree August 27, 2010, 5:20 AM

    thanks for the awesome blog post and dating tips for coffee shop suggestions! subscribed!will surely vist this dating tips blog again – DLady

  • Deidre December 16, 2010, 7:13 PM

    Hi April,

    oh I like that. I agree. guyz need to ask for my number and call not just text.

  • Talisha February 15, 2011, 10:40 PM

    Hey April, now do I want to ask a single guy for his number or is it best for me to slip him my number scrawled onto a bar napkin? I’ve heard it both ways. What is the right thing to do?

  • Cathy Feuerstein February 18, 2011, 6:27 AM

    I feel weird when a guy online makes all the arrangements to meet for a first date but never asks me for my phone number. I don’t get it. Why are they like that? Is that a sign he’s too lazy to date?

  • Gail February 18, 2011, 8:12 AM

    April thank you for sharing as a dating expert in such detailed steps to succeed with men. It’s a really big helper.

  • Martha February 18, 2011, 2:47 PM

    Hey April, I was planning your style is faster then me. I feel awkward with a card just giving that to a guy. Feels a little bold for me.

  • Lauren Durcham February 22, 2011, 9:58 PM

    Your tips are excellent for both single men and women like me, April. I’m hoping you can help me. I’ve been online at the free sites like PlentyofFish. But I find that the single guys there just aren’t serious. What do you take of it?

  • Evanna Gorden February 23, 2011, 6:28 AM

    Your reminder is good, April. I’m here in Los Angeles, also. I find most men here are either actors… or what? lazy? Like they are too busy to pursue women? Is this normal here? I’m not used to such lazy men like that.

  • Jana February 23, 2011, 7:43 PM

    We’re a group of volunteers and starting a fresh initiative in our neighborhood. Your reminder to make it a smooth transition with giving a guy your phone number after you finally meet really helps us out with dating better.

  • Alice Catinella February 24, 2011, 4:15 PM

    Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what they’re truly talking about with internet dating. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it clear what men and women can do to make the first meeting easier and more comfortable. You definitely have the gift with expert and great writing April. thank you for sharing your tips.

  • Edward February 24, 2011, 4:19 PM

    I like this whole idea of the phone number exchange. I think I didn’t really know what women expected before.

  • Stephen February 25, 2011, 2:23 PM

    I think if a woman is seriously interested in me at a dating site then she’ll just offer me her phone number. What you’re suggesting sounds better to you, and then you’ll know which is right for you.

  • Meg February 25, 2011, 8:39 PM

    I think this has gotten challenging to do again now. Some men online are expecting women to say or do more to “prove” they’re interested but single women are still expecting men to show they’ll pursue and be men and ask for that number.

  • Jill February 26, 2011, 7:08 AM

    I like your idea of having personal cards when you are offline. I think makes it easy and simple.

  • Pete February 26, 2011, 10:43 AM

    My sis told me about your dating tips site and how helpful and compassionate you are. Now that I’m here, I think she’s right, I am actually impressed with the writing and slick design. It appears to me you’re just scratching the floor by way of what you may accomplish, however you’re off to an ideal begin!

  • Lindsay March 1, 2011, 2:20 PM

    Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet and what it is really like for real singles at the dating sites. It can be difficult to get to the first date. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

  • Laurel Mac Donnell March 1, 2011, 2:22 PM

    Seems like the right choice is let the guy ask. If he’s interested he’ll ask for the phone number right?

  • Sandra Carrier March 2, 2011, 10:08 AM

    Can you write another article relating to phone exchange due to the fact this post would be a bit tricky to comprehend?

  • Kathie Mraz March 2, 2011, 5:21 PM

    April, what’s your best method for getting the girl to get the guy to ask for the phone number? how long is too long when he texts or phones for the date?

  • David March 5, 2011, 1:45 AM

    Well written post. Navigating the phone number exchange proves useful for myself in the future for getting to the first date.

  • Kim Plascencia March 6, 2011, 5:16 PM

    I simply wish there has been more dating tip goodies on the internet today like what you share April, thanks and will God Bless…

  • Alexandra March 13, 2011, 4:51 AM

    This is really helpful. Some guys want my number right away and it’s too fast for me. I don’t feel good about it like that.

  • Kimberly Chandler March 17, 2011, 5:48 AM

    I really like this post a lot about talking better with single guys. I will certainly be back. I hope that I can read more helpful posts then. Will be sharing your wonderful understanding with my single girlfriends!

  • Tarshatte Garret March 18, 2011, 11:39 AM

    Hi there April! What do you suggest then to safeguard against creepy guys? I’m kinda paranoid about meeting guys from internet dating these days. Do you have any recommendations?

  • Jenny Eames March 30, 2011, 2:12 AM

    If I pass my number to him on a napkin do you think that’s a good way to do it?

  • Eva Palmer April 2, 2011, 6:23 PM

    While it sounds like a good idea for single women in the US, singles behavior is very different here in Spain. Always fun to read your dating tips and learn from you.

  • JoJo April 5, 2011, 11:16 PM

    I would be really flattered if a beautiful girl asked me for my number at Starbucks. That would be hot.

  • Chrissie Bransen April 13, 2011, 12:06 PM

    Thanks for your blog April and your idea about talking with guys.

  • Kesha April 19, 2011, 2:47 AM

    I like that you tell girls we can approach guys and not be wall flowers just waiting on them to make the move

  • Lesley April 19, 2011, 9:03 AM

    Hi April. I know it’s the 21st century and the age of facebook. but I still feel too aggressive if I’m the girl asking a cute guy for his phone number. What can I do to get him to ask me for my cell number? I don’t want to be an aggressive girl. Its so unattractive. Plus I think you only get lazy losers guys that way.

  • Ben April 20, 2011, 3:55 PM

    hi, I am ranking higher with women from your tips

  • Mariam Picchetti April 21, 2011, 4:30 AM

    Wow! This can be one of the most helpful blogs we have ever come across on getting a boyfriend and talking to real guys. Thanks April.

  • Derek Larrimey April 22, 2011, 5:21 AM

    i’d love to share this posting with the readers on my site for women talking with guys. thanks for sharing!

  • Brent Seabrook Jerseys June 2, 2011, 6:28 PM

    Do you find girls can always break the ice with guys over a sports question? That would seam easy to me.

  • Guy December 13, 2015, 7:49 PM

    To tell you the truth younger women don’t talk on the phone, they love texting. Men have NEVER enjoyed talking on a phone. They prefer in-person. The text message is similar to having a note delivered to a girl asking her to meet him for a face to face. Phone conversations are for business or gossip, not relationship building.

    I arrange my meetings in person from one to the next. I’m far too busy with important things to spontaneously call women all the time. Simply arrange the next date at the end of the previous date, in person. A man’s time is valuable. I good woman knows it and is attracted to it.
    Women expect too much personal attention from men these days, and the men that provide it never last. The unavailable man is the most powerful and attractive type of male, despite what the Internet might say.

  • April Braswell March 20, 2016, 1:04 PM

    They just don’t make good husbands. A wonderful husband must demonstrate he CARES more for her than him. When she is 9 mths pregnant with his child, then what? Puhleese. When have you ever been married and in the cancer ward caring alongside your wife, yes? Could you just text in

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