Often the single-never-marrieds email me despondently, I can almost hear their exhaling sigh of desperation in not knowing, “April, what’s wrong with me? I really want to get married, but it just isn’t happening.” First of all, please know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are a perfectly wonderful human being. Everyone is. We are each unique and have wonderful admirable qualities. Just as in the marvelously funny “Freak Show” episode of popular tv show, “Sex in the City” (SITC), each of us has our “Freak” moments over which we would later be embarrassed. Those who love us know those are the exceptions and not the rule about us, thankfully. And each of us has amazing gifts to give to each other, the world, and someone special for us to share our lives with in marriage.
However, do you mind if I ask you a question? You say, “April, I want to get married. Help me.” Seriously ask yourself and reflect upon the answer. How much of a priority in your life is getting married? There is a wonderfully telling quote from the wisdom of the Christian section of The Bible, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” The point is, LOOK at what you are doing, and examine your actions. Take a look at your calendar, your datebook, or if you are one of my EU European readers, your agenda, and tell me, how many hours a week are you devoting to specifically meeting new people, working on your self-improvement, and working on and practicing your relationship communication skills? You know there are books, CD programs, workshops, seminars, and personal coaching on all of these topics? Seriously, how much time per week? If you are a single woman who hasn’t been on a great date for awhile, I hear, “Oh, um, 2 hours on Saturday.” And if you are a single man who’s not dating like he wants to, I hear, “Oh, April, it is really a priority for me. I spend 30 minutes a week on it.”
OK, the married folks who read my blog and website articles on Relationship Success and Marriage Revival tips to keep your marriage great, you’re laughing at that, right? Don’t be mean. The singles who have never been married just don’t know how much investment of time it takes to date and get married. Nor do they realize that once married, it takes time and loving work, yes, on a daily basis to keep a great marriage to be lifelong love and great.
Go ahead and tell me here in your comments, if you are single, how much time per week do you devote to meeting new people and building your relationships skill set? Because it is a skill set. Just like with getting into physical fitness good shape takes effort, getting new and more knowledge, and practice, so do relationship skills. Hmm, I like the idea of developing to be an Olympic Relationship Athlete.
And if you are married, please do tell us, how much time per week do you make specific efforts to maintain your relationship, build the intimate rapport with your husband or wife, and connect with that person, really listening to them and asking them how you can be a help and support in their lives and their work?
As always, please do feel free to ask your dating and relationship questions here at my blog. Where we can manage a simple answer in a blog post, I’m happy to cover that either in my dating and relationship advice and tips blog or a more extensive article at www.AprilBraswell.com. Some topics of a personal nature for you can only be addressed and shifted in personal coaching sessions. I care about you . I care about the quality of people’s personal relationships. Really, it’s the most important thing, isn’t it?
Happy Dating and Relationships,