Boomer Dating Expert Asks, What Do You Want and What Are You Doing About It, Single Ladies?

by April Braswell on July 5, 2009

Boomer Dating Expert Asks, What Do You Want and What Are You Doing About It, Single Ladies?

A number of self-marketing tactics I recommend to single baby boomers, both single men and single women, are not just marketing strategies well-implemented but indeed they are top influence and persuasion experts scientifically studied materials brought into the context of romance and dating.  Yeah, because THAT’s the kind of dating expert I am.  I combine years of study, reading, field experimentation, and cutting edge scientific research.  Because we want to know and to keep our dating and relationship lives fresh.

Because while part of the Baby Boom generation grew up with Ozzy and Harriet (bless their hearts), Leave to Beaver, and My 3 Sons.  Our relationships NOW simply don’t resemble those.  We want something different.  Women have careers.  Men have careers.  And we want to meld our lives differently, and combine that with some fun travel sometimes.  Am I right?  Or am I right?

And even my single Millenial Dating folks, your dating game is a bit different than it was 20 years ago, 10 years ago, and certainly 30 years ago.

I’ve written some previous blog posts about first ascertaining as a single dater, What Do You Want?  This is very important to do.  Part of doing that actually activates your brain to help you to start THINKING of yourself into that scenario.  Because if your brain can’t picture it, you won’t experience it.  You’re activating your cerebral cortex.  Some have applied the label of “The Law of Attraction” to this.  Whatever you want to call it, fine with me.  Just also know the fun science of your brain behind it.

So, say you are single Baby Boomer man.  Perhaps… you are… divorced.  Maybe even twice divorced.  I mean, hey, you’re an attractive man.  Of course, you were able to marry two times already.  And you’re the marrying kind.  So, you want to marry again.
Well, bless your heart.  Simply the fact that you have already gone through 2 courtships which culminated in marriage means you are better off than the “Single, Never Married” folks at all the Online Dating Sites who simply don’t even know HOW.

But now… well, you’re a bit older.  You already have kids.  And don’t really want any more.  So, your PICTURE of marriage which you have in your head.  Well, it’s probably left over from at least the 1980s.  You’re sort of seeing “Risky Business” the Parents.  The House.  And then swoosh.  You’re thinking…. “ahhhh, I don’t want any more kids.  Mine are already graduated from college…. So, uh, I don’t actually WANT a big house anymore….”  Hmmm, how interesting.  Follow that idea.
What do you want now INSTEAD?  You don’t want a big house anymore.  Do you want a townhouse?  A Condo?  A small ranch house with 1 acre of land?  or 10 acres of land?  A bit more in the country than the suburbs now?  Start asking yourself those questions.  And start PICTURING it.  Start envisioning yourself.  What would daily life look like?  Feel like?  OK, so maybe 5 acres of land with a good road to the city so you can still get all the STUFF you want.  Start envisioning LIFE.  And then, turn your head,  WHO would fit well alongside you now?  Without trying too hard to see HER FACE, envision some of her characteristics and attributes that will compliment your NEW lifestyle vision.

Good.  That is a phenomenally good start.

Capture some of those thoughts and images on paper for what she is like.

What Are You Doing About I?

And then ask yourself, where would such a woman be NOW?  Where would she be hanging?  At a dancing class?  Lunch with her girlfriends?  Solitude at the library or Barnes and Noble?

Go where you think SHE would be.   And start interacting with the women in those places.

Mazel tov!

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Baby Boomer Dating


{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Duane Cunningham July 5, 2009 at 9:54 PM

Hi April,

Ya know….she was at Borders!!..lol

Where else would you find an intelligent, attractive young lady!..lol

Brilliant post as always :-)

Duane

John Ho July 6, 2009 at 2:39 AM
Darryl Pace July 6, 2009 at 2:36 PM

Great advice. Envision what you want, then go after it!

Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
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JJ Jalopy July 6, 2009 at 2:23 PM

Hey April!

This was GREAT!

I think my perfect woman would be hanging out on the sofa in the front room. Shall I go check?! :-)

Anthony Lemme July 7, 2009 at 8:59 PM

Hi April,

You are the mad scientist of dating. I appreciate so much of what you have to say even as a non-boomer. As a 40 year much of it is still relevant.

Anthony

Pam Schulz July 15, 2009 at 8:38 PM

More great suggestions from the Single Boomer Dating Expert.

Pam

Lisa McLellan July 26, 2009 at 7:00 PM

I like this. Clear, concise instructions on figuring out what type of mate you want and where to go to find him or her.

Lisa McLellan
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Keri Eagan September 10, 2009 at 10:40 AM

YEAH! Go and get ‘em.

Keri
Anything Alternative

Keri Eagan September 10, 2009 at 10:45 AM

It really all comes down to tactics.

Keri
Anything Alternative

Martin O'Connor September 11, 2009 at 8:09 AM

It’s good advise to stop thinking about what you don’t want and envision the future you want.

Katie September 13, 2009 at 7:01 PM

Hi April,

I saw this comic today and thought of you, the pioneer in Boomer Dating. Hope you are well wherever you are!

http://news.yahoo.com/comics/pearls-before-swine

Katie

April Braswell September 15, 2009 at 8:57 AM

Hi Katie,

thanks for stopping by. You are too funny! that cute lil cartoon is a riot! I love hot dogs. We definitely include hot Italian sausages for our summer and SoCal BBQs! Too HOT in Las Vegas to BBQ right now, but we might be doing that in October when it starts to cool off a bit.

April

Vick October 4, 2009 at 2:02 PM

Yes let’s start with a vision. And with what we do want seems to manifest with much happier results.

Vicki http://www.bridal-threads.com

Eva Palmer October 4, 2010 at 1:15 PM

Hi April!
This was an excellent post! Very useful because you see things from so many angles! And you think about all the possible singles out there – both single men and single women! You have an answer for every different situation and person seeking for tips to find love, even though they migth think that they havve already failed before.

Daniella Stephenson December 17, 2010 at 2:44 AM

Dating sure is different after 40 years old.

Noble Carattini December 30, 2010 at 4:09 PM

Fine reminder for senior singles, April. I got massive different desires for a relationship now. Your dating tips are great info. I’ve been watching this stuff for a while. It’s intriguing how it keeps shifting, yet some of the core factors don’t change for romantic relationships, don’t you think?

Julia February 25, 2011 at 5:55 PM

I don’t find a lot of single guys over 60. There are lots more women there then men.

Ashlee March 6, 2011 at 4:09 PM

Your pointers for seniors is right on target, April. I don’t want to start a family right now at this time of my life.

Deborah Channing April 5, 2011 at 4:57 PM

Pretty cool post – raises some interesting points for debate. I just stumbled upon your blog this morning and wanted to say that I have really liked browsing some of the posts. Anyways, I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope to read more very soon!

Marissa April 11, 2011 at 1:41 AM

I enjoy the whole thing April. Do something to meet more men is a good idea.

Abdul January 31, 2012 at 10:22 PM

As we travel further and further forward in time I think all of us – both men and women – continue to lose a firm grip on what it is we actually do want.

In previous generations a house, white fence and 2.5 children was considered to be ‘the dream,’ yet people are changing and as are their objectives and goals in life.

You mentioned above that both men and women are working now and career continues to grow into a bigger and bigger factor in people’s live. Is it possible that it’s becoming harder to find ‘true love,’ today because our priorities are constatly shifting and, if we’re being honest, are mostly based on our own needs verses the needs of potential parterns?

I’d love to know what your thoughts on on this, April :)

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