I’ve been receiving a number of emails from both single men and single women in the Baby Boomer category. Pretty much that is the Dating After 50 group of singles, really it is dating over 45, as well for singles dating after 60.
They feel quite often that they are sort of overlooked at social functions. Both from what I hear from clients, my own observation, and scientific research, guess what? Indeed, things are different now.
There have been studies about men being attracted to young women. There is even now the “COUGAR” category of women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s being romantically pursued by men 15-20 years younger than they are. Just look at Ashton Kutcher’s having won Demi Moore as well as Tim Robbins pursuit, wooing and winning Susan Surandon when they met on the set of Bull Durham.
The other thing that is different over 50 is that the female and male hormones also have shifted. Men experience Andropause, a lowering of testosterone, so they are then less aggressively pursuing than they were in their 20s and early 30s. Remember how aggressively pursuing men in that age group are? Yup. It’s both delightfully flattering and just a tad off-putting.
And women are in or have had menopause. Women’s hormonal shift actually makes us more aggressive.
In order for boomer singles to notice each other and connect, they women need to remember to DRESS in youthful manner while avoiding the dreaded look of… “Mutton Dressed As Lamb.” Often a Dusty Rose color appears more youthFUL and sophisticated while a full blown bright pink azalea color can be too harsh, actually aging you. Of course, it depends on your coloring. Often a dark complected woman can wear beautiful bright colors and still look fabulous at any age. Wistful sigh. Just think of Tina Turner. Even in my 20s my legs were never as good as hers are in her 60s!
Another youthful image enhancement important as women age is to wear an uplifting bra. Yes, our bosoms sag more with age. Think of all the matronly moms in the movies from the 1930s and 40s. Their bosom profile was always where their bosom was around mid abdomin or lower. THAT is an aging look. Lift them. Wear a good bra, and I am ever a proponent of a good push-up bra. You do not have to always display plunging necklines, lol. However often that area of a woman’s body is often very attractive as we age. My personal favorite PUB is Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy Bra with Gel pads. The gel pads don’t pucker when drying after you hand wash them. Wear with a gentle scoop or Vneck top or sweater, and you instantly look more classy sexy.
For the single boomer men, at a cocktail party, distinguish yourselves from the 30 something men. Wear a jacket and tie and look your daper best. Or consider wearing a bright pink (male bright pink, still a softer shade than most women’s clothing) Ralph Lauren skirt with an ascot a la David Hemmings.
Both single boomer men and single boomer women need to make a more concerted effort to initiate conversation. The women are used to men pursuing them and find that their peer men are less pursuing. Approach with a soft feminine manner, soliciting his masculine assistance in something at a party, “Would you help me with this please? I cannot get it open.” or something like that. And the single boomer man needs to remember to summon up a bit more umph than he may feel at the moment to talk with women.
Tomorrow I will talk about another thing which is different over 40 for boomer dating.
Happy Dating and Relationships!