Boomer Dating – Advice and Tips for Single Boomers, Dating After 50: Things Are Different Now, Adjust Your Game

by April Braswell on April 21, 2009

I’ve been receiving a number of emails from both single men and single women in the Baby Boomer category.  Pretty much that is the Dating After 50 group of singles, really it is dating over 45, as well for singles dating after 60.

They feel quite often that they are sort of overlooked at social functions.  Both from what I hear from clients, my own observation, and scientific research, guess what? Indeed, things are different now.

There have been studies about men being attracted to young women.  There is even now the “COUGAR” category of women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s being romantically pursued by men 15-20 years younger than they are.  Just look at Ashton Kutcher’s having won Demi Moore as well as Tim Robbins pursuit, wooing and winning Susan Surandon when they met on the set of Bull Durham.

The other thing that is different over 50 is that the female and male hormones also have shifted.  Men experience Andropause, a lowering of testosterone, so they are then less aggressively pursuing than they were in their 20s and early 30s.  Remember how aggressively pursuing men in that age group are?  Yup.  It’s both delightfully flattering and just a tad off-putting.

And women are in or have had menopause.  Women’s hormonal shift actually makes us more aggressive.

In order for boomer singles to notice each other and connect, they women need to remember to DRESS in youthful manner while avoiding the dreaded look of… “Mutton Dressed As Lamb.”  Often a Dusty Rose color appears more youthFUL and sophisticated while a full blown bright pink azalea color can be too harsh, actually aging you.  Of course, it depends on your coloring.  Often a dark complected woman can wear beautiful bright colors and still look fabulous at any age.  Wistful sigh.  Just think of Tina Turner.  Even in my 20s my legs were never as good as hers are in her 60s!

Another youthful image enhancement important as women age is to wear an uplifting bra.  Yes, our bosoms sag more with age.  Think of all the matronly moms in the movies from the 1930s and 40s.  Their bosom profile was always where their bosom was around mid abdomin or lower.  THAT is an aging look.  Lift them.  Wear a good bra, and I am ever a proponent of a good push-up bra. You do not have to always display plunging necklines, lol.  However often that area of a woman’s body is often very attractive as we age.  My personal favorite PUB is Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy Bra with Gel pads.  The gel pads don’t pucker when drying after you hand wash them. Wear with a gentle scoop or Vneck top or sweater, and you instantly look more classy sexy.

For the single boomer men, at a cocktail party, distinguish yourselves from the 30 something men.  Wear a jacket and tie and look your daper best.  Or consider wearing a bright pink (male bright pink, still a softer shade than most women’s clothing) Ralph Lauren skirt with an ascot a la David Hemmings.

Both single boomer men and single boomer women need to make a more concerted effort to initiate conversation.  The women are used to men pursuing them and find that their peer men are less pursuing.  Approach with a soft feminine manner, soliciting his masculine assistance in something at a party, “Would you help me with this please?  I cannot get it open.”  or something like that.   And the single boomer man needs to remember to summon up a bit more umph than he may feel at the moment to talk with women.

Tomorrow I will talk about another thing which is different over 40 for boomer dating.

Until then,

Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell

Letting Go and Moving On

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Lynn Lane April 21, 2009 at 5:19 PM

Your advice will be a very welcome advantage to the boomers.

Lynn

http://www.Warriorofsuccess.com

Yann Vernier April 21, 2009 at 4:42 PM

Some cool and funky advice for the boomer back in the dating game. Great stuff April.

All the best,
Yann

Rob Northrup April 21, 2009 at 4:59 PM

April

This is great advice and I think it will help a lot of Boomers trying to re-enter the Dating Game.
Boomer Dating Secrets…

Seize the Day,

Rob

Christian Haller April 21, 2009 at 5:29 PM

Making the best of what you have is good no matter your age. Of course, I’m not going to wear a bright pink skirt any time soon, no matter what!
Christian Haller

jc mackenzie April 21, 2009 at 5:58 PM

It’s interesting to me that the most common complaint I hear is that there is no one around, I’m so lonely, there are no good men/women left……and most of these people are in their 20′s and 30′s! I really like your advice in part because it seems to say BE AWARE!!!!!!!!!! Take advantage of what you have! Understand that the process is more of an ongoing campagne than a win/lose encounter.

Thanks
JC

Susan April 21, 2009 at 6:06 PM

As always, you have given some great pointers April.
Sue Crutcher, Life Empowerment Mentor

Don Shepherd April 21, 2009 at 6:29 PM

April keep the good tips coming. i might be able to deploy a few… sometime after June!

Don Shepherd

Pam Schulz April 21, 2009 at 6:43 PM

Your boomer dating advice is, as always, thoughtful and insightful. A helpful guide, I’m sure, to many who are new to or reentering the dating world.

Great post.
Pam

Darryl Pace April 21, 2009 at 7:30 PM

April,
You’ve provided a good amount of useful detail in this post, which I think is needed b/c it can be tough for a boomer to get back into the dating game after a long layoff. Very good dating advice for boomers.

Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review

Steve Chambers April 21, 2009 at 8:40 PM

The secret for men dating in their fifties who want to date younger women, and what man in his right mind doesn’t, is money or the perception of money. If you have it dating is never a problem. If you don’t then you simply need to scale down your expectations and go for less quality.

The funny thing is that I find there are more dating opportunities as I approach my fifties than there were in my thirties. Go figure.

Steve, The Sales Expert
Are you a Sales Eagle?

mark mallen April 21, 2009 at 8:55 PM

April, Any bra called the “Very Sexy Bra” can’t be all bad. Especially if it does not pucker. Mark

Duane Cunningham April 21, 2009 at 10:45 PM

Hi April,

Great advice as always and I think that the boomer market is an awfully big opportunity to look after!

Duane

Mitchell Rehaume April 21, 2009 at 11:19 PM

Hi April,

I like the advice for the boomers. Look forward to tomorrow’s post.

Mitchell R

Bob Kaufer April 22, 2009 at 3:31 AM

What a combination, you have great knowledge and a market with time, money and the desire.

Bob Kaufer

JJ Jalopy April 22, 2009 at 6:54 AM

Great tactics from the premier dating expert!

What’s the male equivalent of a cougar?

A tiger? Grrrr….

Great stuff April!
JJ Jalopy.

John Ho April 22, 2009 at 7:59 AM

April,

Yap, horses for courses. We need to adapt and change tactics to get what we want in life.

John Ho

Lisa McLellan April 23, 2009 at 9:01 AM

This is great advice for those over 50 dating boomers. I have a few friends and babysitting clients that I need to forward this too.

Lisa McLellan, Babysitting Services – Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs

Pat Becker April 23, 2009 at 12:01 PM

Great advice, April. You give the places to find the dates and then the look to go with the pursuit. Just what a boomer needs to get started dating.

Pat

David Power April 24, 2009 at 6:33 PM

Great strategy for the over 50..cheers Apil you are indeed a legend!!!

David Power
UK Hypnotist

Sam August 8, 2010 at 8:58 AM

Hey Apri. I agree. I don’t think there is a recipe. Don’t LIE, and do be yourself and don’t pretend as the truth would come out sooner or later. You are so right about the truth will out. – Sam Man

Mannie August 8, 2010 at 5:20 PM

I guess we should be looking for not only supportive friends when we’re dating, yes? I guess anything is better than nothing with our social lives. – Mannie

Geddie August 8, 2010 at 5:22 PM

So dating as a single boome now, I guess we should be looking for supportive bras on the market for better dating over 50 yes? – G

Callie Johnson October 31, 2010 at 8:40 AM

It sure is different to date again now.

Kate December 16, 2010 at 10:16 PM

The simple fact is we’re not 20 years old anymore. Dating again now in spite of everything end up being quite different.

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