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Baby Boomer Dating Success – Dating Again After Divorce or Death of a Spouse

Dating Advice:  Baby Boomer Dating Success – Dating Again After Divorce or Death of a Spouse

OK, so one of the most common characteristics of single Boomers is we are either dating again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Certainly, as a group there is usually a need to Prepare the Wall with Divorce Recovery Support or Grief Support work in the Grief Recovery® Seminar first before Painting the House in Dating Again.

Once the Surface is Prepared, it is great to start painting your house: Get Out on More Dates.

Indeed, studies show time and again that the majority of married people met their spouse via people they knew in common. Through friends, through common associations, through mutual acquaintances.

So, what is the number one behavior which will then increase your chances of meeting your new love?

MEET MORE NEW PEOPLE

It will depend on the nature of your metro area for how easy it is to do that and what sort of events happen regularly which you can attend.

Shy Guy Dating Tip Beautiful Girls Dance Class

Shy Guy Dating Tip Meet Beautiful Girls Dance Class

You want to combine a mix of events which are sort of a group association – like a Salsa or Classical Dance group which meets regularly – with one off events which you attend only periodically.

ASSOCIATIONS and GROUPS

This is your community, your tribe.  You want to attend these regularly, just don’t let it be your only resource.  These associations and groups – dance groups, singles groups, Bible Study/Church groups – can often become a bit insular.  Sometimes new people attend their events.  Sometimes only the same people have been attending for months.

Do attend such events, just not exclusively.

SPECIAL OCCASION EVENTS

Often a Special Occasion is observed by a series of public events.  They are really sort of one off.  St. Patrick’s Day.  Gay/Lesbian Pride cocktails parties.  Art Gallery openings.  Scotch Tastings.  Pinot Noir Tastings. Memorial Day BBQs.

I know I promised about 10 days ago to give you a week on the theme of Baby Boomer Dating and then proceeded to talk about Long Term Marriage Relationship Success last week.  Why?  Because events in my life on Monday just opened that door, so I went through it for the week.  That’s the joy of blogging.

Well, THIS is the week I will focus on Baby Boomer Dating.  This was the first.
Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell

Dating Expert and Relationship Coach

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Church Singles Ministries as well as Divorce Support Groups.  Looking to Book April to speak at your Singles Event?

{ 42 comments… add one }
  • Sonya Lenzo April 19, 2009, 3:43 PM

    so true….most people I have dated recently have been friends of friends.As we get older, I think that is even more true.
    SunnyMarie

  • Rob Northrup April 19, 2009, 4:21 PM

    Great advice for people facing this challenge…

    Seize the Day,

    Rob

  • Steve Chambers April 19, 2009, 4:26 PM

    Great advice about a logical way to meet more people.

    Steve,

  • David Power April 19, 2009, 4:55 PM

    Divorse is nnever easy and takes advice from someone with your expertice!!!

    David

  • Christian Haller April 19, 2009, 5:25 PM

    A difficult challenge for anyone. This is good advice for people in this situation.
    Christian Haller

  • Darryl Pace April 19, 2009, 6:43 PM

    April,
    Great advice. Your painting analogy is a good one. The information you’ve provided is encouraging and instructional for those overcoming the challenges associated with the loss of a spouse.

    Darryl Pace

  • Lisa McLellan April 19, 2009, 8:03 PM

    Boomer dating – is this a new term, I’ve never heard it. It does sound like people in these situations could really use some professional help getting back into the dating scene.

  • Don Shepherd April 19, 2009, 7:07 PM

    It might sound funny but i meet more single women when i’m grocery shopping than any other place.

    Don Shepherd

  • mark mallen April 19, 2009, 7:58 PM

    April, I need advice on dating while working a regular job and spending 5 hours a day on Kevin’s course. By the way, you have good taste in ice cream. Mark

  • mark mallen April 19, 2009, 8:00 PM

    April, I need advice on dating while working a regular job and spending % hours a day on Kevin’s course. By the way, you have good taste in ice cream. Mark

  • mark mallen April 19, 2009, 8:29 PM

    April, Any advice for dating while working a regular job and taking Kevin’s course? By the way, you have great taste in ice cream. Mark

  • Duane Cunningham April 19, 2009, 9:23 PM

    Hi April,

    Great advice again on how to meet people! I must share that on 60 minutes here in Australia there was a segment last night on ‘Cougar’ dating that was the new wave in the US? Maybe you would like to share with us about this??

    Duane

  • Bob Kaufer April 20, 2009, 3:21 AM

    April,

    This is really great advice I hope I never need.

    Thanks

    Bob Kaufer

  • Philip Graves April 20, 2009, 4:42 AM

    I think your point “… not exclusively” is crucial. It’s easy to think you’re getting out there when you join a club or group; within the first few weeks you’ve met 90% of the people you ever will there, and if none of them interest you romantically you’ll find an interest in whatever the group does taking over your time when you could be engaged in dating-focused activity elsewhere.

    Your posts always illustrate the benefit of having an expert thinking about one area; you aren’t an online dating expert for nothing!

    Philip
    Consumer Behaviour Expert

  • JJ Jalopy April 20, 2009, 5:32 AM

    I think the best place to meet other singles is Borders, the book shop!

    It’s an unintimidating environment, there’s every topic in the world in there to start talking about, and there’s a Starbucks to go to for a “date” straight away!

    JJ Jalopy.

  • Lynn Lane April 20, 2009, 6:51 AM

    April,

    When people meet this challenge in life, the will need a boost.
    You will fill a great need.

    BTW, you can send your report for my package by this weekend.

    Thanks

    Lynn Lane

  • John Ho April 20, 2009, 7:17 AM

    How to have more dates? Meet new people continuously.

    How to break bad habits? Stop doing them!

    Simple, Direct and Workable too!

    You never run out of good ideas, Dating & Relationship Expert April!

    John Ho

  • Jennifer Battaglino April 20, 2009, 8:25 AM

    I like that you talk about different avenues and not putting all your eggs in one basket. It would be interesting, even though I am not dating anymore, to see how much truth there is in where you go to meet someone who “fits” your profile.
    I am always curious when some one who has been burned decides to join a church group because they want to meet a “nice” guy. There a plenty of mean people who also go to church… 🙂

    Just thinking out loud today,
    Jen

  • Mitchell Rehaume April 20, 2009, 9:47 AM

    April,

    Great post once again. I would like to introduce you to a friend here in Canada that works with older couples in dance studios for creating a safe meeting place for couples.

    I think with your great posts and his clientle it could be a great opportunity for you both.

    Mitch

  • Yann Vernier April 20, 2009, 12:34 PM

    Lots of great ideas and very sound advice (as usual) for those who return to the dating game.

    All the best,
    Yann

  • Anthony Lemme April 20, 2009, 12:50 PM

    As always, great information. Hope I never need this particular advice however.

    Kind Regards,
    Anthony

  • Pat Becker April 20, 2009, 9:21 PM

    Big event, or series of events, depending on your part of the country coming up soon. Cinco de Mayo! Fantastic for the salsa lovers. Pretty good for the foodies too.

    Pat

  • Amy Sherman April 28, 2009, 9:21 AM

    Great advice. It’s always good to clean up old baggage before dating again. As we all know, “stuff” keeps repeating itself, unless you let it go. It’s fair to your new partner to come with a clean slate, so you can be open and receptive to loving and enjoying each other.

    Been there; done that!

    Amy

  • Daniella December 17, 2010, 4:00 AM

    A lot of the single guys over 45 and over 50 are divorced. Sometimes they’re bitter. Sometimes they’re just sarcastic.

  • Angel December 24, 2010, 8:04 AM

    It’s true, April. Most of the women I meet over 50 have already been married at least once.

  • Sara December 28, 2010, 7:49 PM

    It’s difficult to find the single men who are over 50. They’re just not at the bar scene like when we were in our 20s.

  • Mark December 29, 2010, 8:38 AM

    Dating again now after divorce really does feel different. I’ll have to think about it a bit more; I will return soon.

  • Nick December 29, 2010, 9:05 AM

    Took me time to read all the comments here at your dating blog, April, but I certainly enjoyed all of your suggestions. It’s a whole new dating scene since I last dated.

  • Jeremy McBride January 1, 2011, 9:30 AM

    Do you think the internet dating is different for us being single, over 40, and divorced? how can I do that better?

  • Carley January 5, 2011, 1:32 AM

    Yeah dating again now in my late 40s being single and divorced, most of my girlfriends are married with kids. It’s hard to find single men the same way like before I was married.

  • Kiersten Tabion January 9, 2011, 2:21 AM

    These specific dating tips remind me that it’s different dating now and right now there may be great possibilities to meet additional single men but I have to make a special effort to find them. Thanks for the ideas, April.

  • Marsha February 28, 2011, 10:10 AM

    My girlfriend’s widowed mother met her new husband at church. I just don’t see a lot of single men my age there.

  • Joan March 12, 2011, 12:00 PM

    Is this why internet dating is a good idea?

  • Jamie March 20, 2011, 7:38 AM

    It is different dating again now years after being married. What do men expect? Should I be asking them out and offering to pay? What happened to chivalry?

  • Arleen March 20, 2011, 1:59 PM

    Thank you for your compassion and suggestions for dating again after divorce, April, to take it slowly. I was a wreck after my divorce. It takes awhile. Be gentle with yourself.

  • Eliza March 23, 2011, 9:52 PM

    You definitely have a gift with helping singles at online dating, April. The free sites seem to attract singles who aren’t serious.

  • Giana March 30, 2011, 2:05 PM

    Hi April. I have a hard time meeting single men my own age now that I’m divorced. Where do you suggest for meeting older single men, over 40 years old to over 50 years old for dating purposes? I have to be careful at church so the married women don’t think I’m after their husbands. Because I’m not. I dress attractively. They should make more of an effort to look good for their husbands themselves and they might then feel more confident and not see me as some kind of a threat to their marriages. They don’t need to worry. I’m not after some married man. I don’t want someone who would be unfaithful to his marriage vows.

  • Covert Hypnosis Secrets Discovered April 20, 2011, 6:51 PM

    Baby Boomers dating must be really different for singles than it is for the 20 yer old college students.

  • Donna Thompson September 30, 2011, 3:55 PM

    These are great tips for starting to date again after a divorce or death of a loved one. This can be one of the scariest times in a person’s life, and events like the ones you mentioned can help ensure you are in contact with people who have the same values and in no-pressure situations.

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