I was in the parking lot of the hotel where I was staying for a business conference and saw a perfect illustration of the Law of Association. I wished I had taken a photograph to show you what I mean because you would laugh out loud with me as well.
The Law of Association simply put states that we become like with whom we most frequently hang out and spend our time. Another way to think of it is as those with whom we actually invest our precious lives, the time in our lives. We are investing ourselves, our love, and our time, with them. So choose carefully.
I drive a Burgundy Honda Civic EX. Namely, my car is a Burgundy colored mid-size sedan from Japan.
When I stepped outside of the hotel to load my car for the return drive home, what did I behold? What did my eyes see? Yes, parked next to my car were… two other Japanese-made Burgundy mid-size sedans! Clearly the Marriott is the club house for Burgundy Japanese model mid-size sedan car owners!
The Law of Association is important for a number of the categories of singles to consider carefully when what they are desiring is to wed.
For the Single Never Marrieds – it can depend on your age group. When you a single in your twenties, it can see so easy to connect with and readily meet other singles. In fact your roommate’s friends mix with your friends both when you have parties and soirees at your apartment as well as when you go out together. It’s similar to the ease of meeting lots and lots of other singles in your age category. The challenge then is to meet singles and be on the look out for singles who are interested in and looking for a relationship. Indeed, getting into the pattern of going out all the time leads to more of the same. And then you find after a few years that you are going out all the time, but a relationship is elusive for you.
When you are Single Never Married in your 30s and 40s and 50s, many of your now peers are themselves married. Some might be divorced and single again. No longer is your lifestyle readily mixing you with lots of other singles. In which case, like every other thing we want in life, you must make a concerted effort to meet plenty of other singles when previously it was a natural part of your daily life.
For divorced people, often that first phase year or so right after your divorce can be your most challenging. Have you considered what was your part in the ending of the marriage? Is there any emotional release work or communication skill set work to do? How can you improve yourself and heal your heart so you are open to love again in the future? There a group of both single moms and single dads who put their own romantic lives on hold waiting for their young children to graduate from high school or college before they will date again. Are your friends and peers subtly telling you messages of “men are pigs” or “women are shrews” (you know the actual word they are using, which I’ll refrain from using). That message is feeding into your belief system and certainly won’t help you with dating again. Look around you for singles who have a positive attitude and think as well as speak well of the opposite sex. Ones who are saying, “Men are wonderful!” and “I love women!”
Lastly, of course, is the group who are widowed, which includes both widows and widowers. Depending on whether you are young (under 55, under 40 years old) when widowed, you are likely feeling you do want to wed again. However, like your divorced single peer, your heart needs healing from your grief first, or you can fall into replacing your loss before you might truly be ready to date and commit anew to a new relationship. Often the older widow and widowers will almost retire their hearts and assume the role and identity of being someone’s Widow. The people they invest their lives with in their associations are often other grieving widows. When you are essentially in a talk support group most of your day, you stay in your grief. And unless someone lets you know it is possible to complete that grief and have a renewed life, that can become your identity for years. Again, with whom you are associating matters.
This next week I will post tips daily for single men and single women for some great venues where you can position yourself to naturally meet the opposite sex.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert
Dating Expert Daily Tip for Single Women Where to Meet More Men?
Single ladies, keep your eyes peeled. While, of course there are single men all around you and all about you, it is challenging in normal daily life always to know if they are single and also even to perceive the with people’s mental filters when we are involved in our busy lives. Many single woman can be missing the single men who are around them. One of my case studies demonstrates a now-married couple who lived within 4 blocks of each other, and even frequented the same coffee shops and stores at the same times, but they literally didn’t “see” each other until they met at an online dating site.
Dating Expert Best Practice Dating Tip to Meet More Men: Get There Early
One great place to meet lots of men is the meat oriented fast food restaurants. However, to meet the most men and make this meat market a “Meet Market”, do get there early.
The early bird really does get the worm!
Many men involved in the trades such as construction, landscaping, and electricians start their work days quite early, as early as 5:30 and 6:00 am. So, they are hungry for lunch early in the day. Many of the fast food restaurants switch to their lunch menus as early as 10:30 and 11:00 am. Be there a few times when they make that switch. Even if you are only going to sip a cup of coffee, be there, looking YOUR BEST. When you look your best, indeed, you whole persona expresses your poise and self-confidence. Smile. Make eye-contact. Find little reasons to get up and mill about. Get a napkin. Wipe your table. Place your trash in the trash bin.
You might need to go several times, warmly and personably chat up the staff who is waiting on you. Get it to where they know how you like your coffee. Then when there are men there at the restaurant ordering their early lunches, you will just be naturally engaged in conversation with the staff and can practice little ways to turn and utter something to them to draw them into the brief conversation. Smile. Find some question you can ask them for helpful advice. And then hand them your personal card. When you do this with 5 men per day minimum, you will be asked out on more dates. Each new date offers you opportunities to flirt and be feminine and practice your relationship communication skills which is one of the attributes of long-term successful marriage relationships.
Dating Expert Best Practice Dating Tip to Meet More Men: Do Keep Your Eyes Peeled
Look for construction sites and areas in your metro region. It is almost a running joke around Las Vegas that there is always construction going on. That is one of the joke we can make as a Las Vegas Dating and Relationship Expert that all Las Vegans can relate to. In fact the Garmins cannot keep up with all of the changes. In which case, that means that there are plenty of construction workers engaged in labor all around Las Vegas. With the construction around the Monte Carlo Hotel in Las Vegas, the fast food court is an excellent place to encounter a lot of men. Of course, not all of them will be single. That’s ok, go position yourself and practice your flirtation skills expressing your confidence, poise, and comfortableness with your classy sensuality. Keep going and interacting with the men there while looking and expressing your classy sexy best.
Of course, not all of my readers live in Las Vegas. That was cited merely as an example for you to stimulate your own creativity to come up with places near you. Once you have that example in your mind, you will find yourself in the natural course of your week now suddenly noticing construction sites near where you live and work. Good! Next you will start to look for the burger fast food joints near those construction sites. Go there. You can always drink a small coffee or enjoy one of their healthy salads if a cheeseburger and french fries is not part of your normal diet.
Ladies, whatever your singles status in your online dating profile is, Widowed, Single-Never-Married, or Divorced, you can do this, practice your flirting skills, and meet more men. Who knows where it might lead?
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert