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Sorority Sister Act Profile Photo Problem

Online Dating Advise for Women: Problem Profile Pictures

I love my female friends.  I have both graduated from an all women’s college (no, it was not an all girls school, thank you very much) and been very involved in the wonderful women’s service organization, Junior League, over the years.  It’s my own equivalent of having been a member of a sorority which is what you might have.

I love our girls night out (#GNO).  We would gaggle about once a month or so, mostly our single gal pals and a few of married lady buds and enjoy an evening of fabulous cocktails and convos creating lasting memories and connections.

Naturally, we’d snap lots of photographs of ourselves with all of those digital cameras we all have now.  So when you’re pulling together your internet dating profile, you might think to use on of these group photos with your gal pals where you were smiling, having fun, and looking great.  I mean, that’s the right kind of image you want to present in your internet personals ads profile, right?  Yes it is.  But NO! Do NOT include one of those pix.

Avoid group photos of you with your gal pals out enjoying your girls’ night out at the local bar.  Why? How can your ptl guy date distinguish you from your buddies?  What is you all have similar hair styles?  Worse still.  Ladies, what if those visually stimulated guys view your group photo only to find their rapid response initial attraction most strongly drawn to one of your girlfriends, and not you?

Focus on Love

Creating attraction with Guys is really easy.  There is no heavy mystery to fostering attraction with men.  It’s also pretty obvious if a guy is attracted to us, or not.  Men are very visually stimulated.  Either he finds us attractive from the get go, or not.  So, do post great profile photos of yourself.  But ladies, do remember to post only photos of you.  Not, you with your gal pals.

All too many of the single guys whom I couch send me women’s profiles displaying their gal pals and the sorority sister act debacle.  They ask me rhetorically, “Which one is she?” Even if he can probably tell.  Just, what were you thinking to feature other women directly in your online dating profile?  I know. I know. “We were having fun! I look like I’m having fun! These are my besties!

No, no, no. This is your mental real estate.  Now is not the time to endeavor to share the spotlight with your girlfriends and sorority sisters.

If you’re a marriage-minded single woman looking for boyfriend contender men to date which would eventually lead to getting married and a wedding, then rather than let your dating profile look like your Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram stream, you want to include just pictures of you so quality men looking for quality women – a lady – ladies, quality men seek ladies to date and wed – then aim to look like one. “A Lady” need not be boring or stodgy. Just let him connect with you, just you in your internet dating profile. Don’t make it hard on him.

Cheers and blessings,

April Braswell


If you want some help with your dating profile whether you just want me to take a look at it and do a review with you to improve it and your photos or you want the full shebang of having me craft a bespoke online dating profile for you reflecting you fully at your best, I’m here to help. There are two options for working with me. Check it out and pick which one works best for you.

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Saddleback continues to be one of the great lOCal Christian churches to support their members and community with a solid Christian Singles Ministry here in Orange County. Saddleback Singles Christian ministry offers a variety of events to foster fun, mingling, fellowship, friendship and possibly long term relationship romance, hopefully marriage in a non-pressure environment of same/aligned faith single men and women.

#lOCal is to designate that this is an OC local event when you share about it over at Twitter or Instagram.

Dancing Together

Christian singles ministries can be great when there is movement within the group and doesn’t get stagnant or insular. That can be a problem in any Christian Small Group which my Serendipity House Small Groups training from over 20 years ago taught me. Saddleback Singles is a terrific ministry in that their events are both well attended and they cross-promote it to multiple meetup “singles” activity groups. That way it’s not the exact same 10 people attending every month.

Recently, they’ve solidified offering a regular monthly Salsa Saturdays event which is free and lead by an area Salsa Teacher.

For folks who have subscribed to my ezine newsletter (form there in the sidebar menu, just fill in your name and email) and read my blog with any regularity know I am a proponent of engaging in Social Dancing to combine fun, flirtation, exercise and socializing. It’s tremendous fun and offers singles a great way to be active and flirt without having a meat market sleazy feel to things. I have engaged in social dancing and loved it since I was in high school. There are different styles, and you don’t need to be a contender for Dancing with the Stars to engage in social dancing and have fun.

I and my life partner are a prime example of a Success Story of midlife couples who met and courted via social dancing. We engage in Square Dancing and Contra. However, I pursued WCS West Coast Swing and Argentine Tango when I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area. My brother and his darling wife, also Christians as am, just celebrated their 10 year wedding anniversary met his darling wife and courted via… Salsa!

He has been into it so much that he even danced competitively for a time. There are salsa dance clubs, conferences, and seminar to improve your skills.

But just to start and see if it’s the dance style for you, attend Saddleback’s Salsa Saturdays for free and sample the style and the crowd. Whatever the outcome, you’ll have a blast.

As you can tell from my thinking, this is a ton of fun. Bring some friends and family. Salsa is for all

Dancing Couple

different ages. It’s ok to come alone. You don’t have to have a dancer partner. In most Ballroom Dance classes taught in this open format, you are either a Leader or Follower. They likely rotate partners during the class time which is optimal for learning to dance. It’s great to dance with different partners to learn the signals and foot work well.

Now, you need to keep in mind that Salsa is a ballroom dance style and you do need to wear some proper shoes for it, certainly not open sandals or flip flops which can be so common in Southern California. Ideally, wear dance shoes (Jazz, Salsa, Ballroom). Alternately, you can wear well-fitting athletic/casual footwear with smooth soles. The smooth soles allow your feet to glide along the floor.

To maximize the learning and socializing opportunity, arrive by 6:45PM. If your so inclined, feel free to attend the afternoon 4PM service and have your Sunday free. Arrive by 5:30PM for FREE Pizza!

Per their FB page, Saddleback’s Salsa Saturday is a weekly event. I will confirm that and update this post in the future, so do check back before heading over just to be certain and not waste the drive.

Salsa Saturday Details:
Teacher: Manny Alvarez
Time: 7:00PM
Admission: Free of charge
Address: Saddleback Church Irvine South
18842 Teller Ave
Irvine, CA 92612
Location: Lobby

Now, if you don’t ‘live in the Orange County, CA area, take this Christian Singles Ministry’s focus as some inspiration for your Ministry or Church and see if you can create something like in in your area or search for some similar options in your region.

What activities does your singles ministry sponsor? Chime into the comments section and let me know. Share some ideas of what your singles group does and get inspired!

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell, CHt, Life and Dating Coach


Midlife Dating and Relationship Expert Coach SpeakerApril BraswellDatingAdvice.com‘s Midlife Dating Expert Columnist and Coach April Braswell is the author of best-selling Get Swipe Right: Online Dating Book.

She is available to speak at your Christian Singles Group, Ministry, event, 1-Day or conference. It’s part of her life work from the Lord to equip and empower men and women to create lasting intimacy with the Lord’s Intended. To book April Live send your event details: April (AT) AprilBraswell.com.


Hot Los Angeles NYE 2018 Ball Bash for Singles Over 40 (Studio City)

The folks who used to bring the Over 40 midlife singles and couple’s crowd for socializing in the over 40s and 50s 50+ crowd run an annual mega New Year’s Eve dance event in Studio City, CA, for people over 40. This is their sixth straight year. Last yea at the 2017 New Year’s Eve party, they had over 500 people attending, a nice mix of singles and couples.  So, it offers a great socializing opportunity without it becoming a meat market a la the singles’ scenes of yore.

Dance in the New Year in Los Angeles

Singles, now couples, do actually meet at this event. I’m always being countered with my plethora of ideas for how to meet singles at midlife with, “Yeah, and how many couples do you know who met that way?” Well, if you click through to their website www.bestover40nyepartyinla.com, you’ll hear the love story of one such midlife couple who met at last year’s New Year’s Eve dance bash soiree!

They feature:

We offer a three course sit down dinner in a beautifully decorated ballroom featuring a salad, choice of a salmon, chicken, vegetarian dish or steak platter and dessert, coffee and tea. 

We have two bands playing non-stop music (Oldies, rock n’ roll, disco, salsa, ballroom, contemporary) all night long for dancing and listening pleasure.

The venue is in Studio City, CA. For further information: 818-554-2262

It’s a very nice mix of singles, couples, as well as married couples all in that midlife category having a great time socializing, dancing, and ringing in the New Year!

Happy Dating and Relationships,